水灾的笑话

加拿大家园论坛

水灾的笑话

原文链接：https://forum.iask.ca/threads/833596/

哈法 : 2017-09-10#1

上班和supervisor 聊天，说到hurricane Irma ，又说到前些日子因hurricane Harvey 的关系，德州水灾，到现在水还没全部退完。她说我讲个笑话给听。

哈法 : 2017-09-10#2

When hurricane came the government declared state of emergency and ordered evacuation. Josh stayed at home and a national guard knocked the door and said:"Sir, you need move out now!" Josh said:"Lord always takes care of me and protects me." He refused leaving. Water flooded, Josh standed on second floor, a boat came by and asked Josh to leave. Josh said:"Lord always takes care of me and protects me."He refused leaving again. Sooner Josh standed on the roof, a helicopter came and asked Josh to leave. Josh said:"Lord always takes care of me and protects me."He refused leaving once more. Josh drowned and in the heaven. Josh looked very sad. Lord asked him:" What's matter, Josh?" Josh said:" You said that you would always take care of me and protect me. But now I drowned." Lord said:" Thats right, Josh. I sent a national guard, a boat and a helicopter to save your life!"

xueshan : 2017-09-10#3

有些吊大家胃口的嫌疑....... :wdb25:

哈法 : 2017-09-10#4

xueshan 说:
有些吊大家胃口的嫌疑.......

你着啥急啊！这不来了！我打了半天字。 :wdb32:

哈法 : 2017-09-10#5

我笑的眼泪都出来了！我对supervisor 说:" Lord is always right!"

xueshan : 2017-09-10#6

IloveHalifax 说:
你着啥急啊！这不来了！我打半天字

看到你先占位然后再补充内容，赞！ Thanks for the sharing.

哈法 : 2017-09-10#7

xueshan 说:
看到你先占位然后再补充内容，赞！ Thanks for the sharing.

好笑吗？西人supervisor ，法语人士但在安省长大，流利双语。我怀疑她也许信教但不是教徒，所以敢嘲笑上帝，而且不只一次。

xueshan : 2017-09-10#8

IloveHalifax 说:
好笑吗？西人supervisor ，法语人士但在安省长大，流利双语。我怀疑她也许信教但不是教徒，所以敢嘲笑上帝，而且不只一次。

俺的有些同事也是基督徒，他们聊天时也常嘲笑上帝，估计都不是虔诚的信徒，只是follow and respect their parents' religion.

哈法 : 2017-09-10#9

xueshan 说:
俺的有些同事是基督徒，他们聊天时也常嘲笑上帝，估计都不是虔诚的信徒，只是follow and respect their parents' religion.

新教徒（Protestant) 可能会好点儿。天主教徒（Catholic)可能不行。我认识个印尼来的华裔女孩，我知道她信教，有次聊天，她对我说如果不信教，最后不要说my God 等。

xueshan : 2017-09-10#10

IloveHalifax 说:
新教徒（Protestant) 可能会好点儿。天主教徒（Catholic)可能不行。我认识个印尼来的华裔女孩，我知道她信教，有次聊天，她对我说如果不信教，最后不要说my God 等。

学习了！---- “她对我说如果不信教，最后不要说my God 等”。

我一般在公司里不聊涉及那些宗教的话题，除非别人问我，我也就简单说说。毕竟与那些老外相比，俺们长期受的是无神论教育，真正了解的宗教知识不多。至少我挺尊敬他们的宗教信仰的。

哈法 : 2017-09-10#11

xueshan 说:
学习了！---- “她对我说如果不信教，最后不要说my God 等”。

我一般在公司里不聊涉及那些宗教的话题，除非别人问我，我也就简单说说。毕竟与那些老外相比，俺们长期受的是无神论教育，真正了解的宗教知识不多。至少我挺尊敬他们的宗教信仰的。

我也没谈宗教的问题。那个女孩不会说中文，我与她交谈都是英文。有时说英文经常会说my God ，其实也就是一句口头语。但是对她来说如果我不信教最好不要这么说。

xueshan : 2017-09-10#12

IloveHalifax 说:
我也没谈宗教的问题。那个女孩不会说中文，我与她交谈都是英文。有时说英文经常会说my God ，其实也就是一句口头语。但是对她来说如果我不信教最好不要这么说。

赞同你说的，多数人说my God ，其实也就是一句口头语，并不表明就信仰那种宗教。在国内时我们也常说：天哪、老天爷、菩萨保佑之类的，但很多人也不信仰佛教。

在公司里我从不主动问同事的婚姻家庭宗教收入等事，这么多年来同事们也从来没有问过我，挺喜欢这样的工作环境的。

gongbao : 2017-09-10#13

老段子了，我在国内上初中就看过

iloveiwc : 2017-09-10#14

我以前也听过，不过还是笑了半天

xl : 2017-09-10#15

这儿有个国内发的关于教师节的段子：

今天一朋友的老婆在产房里待产，他在外面急的团团转，口里还不停的说：老婆快点！老婆快点！
看他急的样子，我问：你老婆生孩子你着什么急呀？
他说：我能不急吗？今天生的是知识分子，明天生就是恐怖分子！
——明天“911”

宇航员 : 2017-09-10#16

IloveHalifax 说:
When hurricane came the government declared state of emergency and ordered evacuation. Josh stayed at home and a national guard knocked the door and said:"Sir, you need move out now!" Josh said:"Lord always takes care of me and protects me." He refused leaving. Water flooded, Josh standed on second floor, a boat came by and asked Josh to leave. Josh said:"Lord always takes care of me and protects me."He refused leaving again. Sooner Josh standed on the roof, a helicopter came and asked Josh to leave. Josh said:"Lord always takes care of me and protects me."He refused leaving once more. Josh drowned and in the heaven. Josh looked very sad. Lord asked him:" What's matter, Josh?" Josh said:" You said that you would always take care of me and protect me. But now I drowned." Lord said:" Thats right, Josh. I sent a national guard, a boat and a helicopter to save your life!"

还有一个笑话。
圣经说：人类是上帝造的。
我问：那么神是谁造的？
神父瞬间石化！
我说：上帝是人造的。比如毛泽东。 -：）
神父直接去了精神病院。至今尚未出院。

Montreal7055 : 2017-09-10#17

不觉得好笑。可能我笑点太高了

baihuazs : 2017-09-10#18

顶史上最长主题帖。

哈法 : 2017-09-10#19

baihuazs 说:
顶史上最长主题帖。

谢谢你提醒，我做了修改。我可能是无意中把一楼的贴子加到题目里。

哈法 : 2017-09-10#20

Montreal7055 说:
不觉得好笑。可能我笑点太高了

也许你已听过，所以不觉得好笑。

gongbao : 2017-09-11#21

xl 说:
这儿有个国内发的关于教师节的段子：

今天一朋友的老婆在产房里待产，他在外面急的团团转，口里还不停的说：老婆快点！老婆快点！
看他急的样子，我问：你老婆生孩子你着什么急呀？
他说：我能不急吗？今天生的是知识分子，明天生就是恐怖分子！
——明天“911”

微信群里看过了。。。
看来我休闲上网时间太长了，这毛病得改

comeback : 2017-09-11#22

xueshan 说:
学习了！---- “她对我说如果不信教，最后不要说my God 等”。

把别人的笔误都学去了，确实很认真，呵呵。。。

soleil_lee－太阳李 : 2017-09-11#23

IloveHalifax 说:
When hurricane came the government declared state of emergency and ordered evacuation. Josh stayed at home and a national guard knocked the door and said:"Sir, you need move out now!" Josh said:"Lord always takes care of me and protects me." He refused leaving. Water flooded, Josh standed on second floor, a boat came by and asked Josh to leave. Josh said:"Lord always takes care of me and protects me."He refused leaving again. Sooner Josh standed on the roof, a helicopter came and asked Josh to leave. Josh said:"Lord always takes care of me and protects me."He refused leaving once more. Josh drowned and in the heaven. Josh looked very sad. Lord asked him:" What's matter, Josh?" Josh said:" You said that you would always take care of me and protect me. But now I drowned." Lord said:" Thats right, Josh. I sent a national guard, a boat and a helicopter to save your life!"

以前读过

soleil_lee－太阳李 : 2017-09-11#24

xueshan 说:
赞同你说的，多数人说my God ，其实也就是一句口头语，并不表明就信仰那种宗教。在国内时我们也常说：天哪、老天爷、菩萨保佑之类的，但很多人也不信仰佛教。

在公司里我从不主动问同事的婚姻家庭宗教收入等事，这么多年来同事们也从来没有问过我，挺喜欢这样的工作环境的。

不信教说 Mygoodness，不要说My god

laox888 : 2017-09-11#25

Two guys were chatting on a beach in the Caribbean, and the first guy said to the second guy, "Yep, I am here on insurance money. My factory burned down and my insurance company paid for everything."

"What a coincidence," said the second guy, "I am also here on insurance money. My warehouse was destroyed in a hurricane and my insurance company paid for everything."

Looking puzzled, the first guy said to the second guy, "Tell me something, how do you start a hurricane?"

esimon : 2017-09-11#26

信教的，不同教会对my god这种也有不同要求。
说中立点的最好， my goodness, holy cow, holy moly这种

加拿大家园论坛水灾的笑话

原文链接：https://forum.iask.ca/threads/833596/

加拿大家园论坛

水灾的笑话