Joe Wong: Building A Wall Didn't Work For China
《中式英语“孔夫子警句”》
Confucius Says ... Chinese Proverbs
http://chinaunique.com/fun/proverbs.htm
Confucius was one of the world's greatest philosophers. Here are some humorous Confucius sayings:
转贴(个别“孔夫子警句”故意用中式英语):
A lion will not cheat on his wife, but a Tiger Wood.
Man who want pretty nurse, must be patient.
Lady who goes camping must beware of evil intent.
Man who run in front of car get tired.
Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.
Man who run behind car get exhausted.
Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day.
Foolish man give wife grand piano, wise man give wife upright organ.
Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok.
Man with one chopstick go hungry.
Man who scratch ass should not bite fingernails.
Baseball is wrong: Man with four balls cannot walk.
Panties not best thing on earth! But, next to best thing on earth.
War does not determine who is right, war determine who is left.
Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat house.
Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night.
It take many nails to build crib, but one screw to fill it.
Man who drive like hell, bound to get there.
Man who stand on toilet is high on pot.
Man who live in glass house should change clothes in basement.
Man who fish in other man's well often catch crabs.
Man who fart in church sit in own pew.
Crowded elevator smell different to midget.
Virginity like bubble, one prick, all gone.
Passionate kiss, like spider web, leads to undoing of fly.
Man who leaps off cliff, jumps to conclusion.
有几句问过加拿大人才明白。既然kok是cock之意,辣么警句的意思似为:用棒棒撞开单向通道的棒棒。
A man who eats many prunes sits on toilet many moons有几句问过加拿大人才明白。
中式英语:Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.
问一个加拿大人,也不懂这pun。
还原为标准英语就好理解了:
标准英语1 - A man who eats many prunes gets a good run for his money.
吃很多杏子是一种享受。
标准英语2 - A man who eats many prunes gets the runs...
吃很多杏子会拉稀...
有几句问过加拿大人才明白。
中式英语:Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.
问一个加拿大人,也不懂这pun。
还原为标准英语就好理解了:
标准英语1 - A man who eats many prunes gets a good run for his money.
吃很多杏子是一种享受。
标准英语2 - A man who eats many prunes gets the runs...
吃很多杏子会拉稀...
《本草纲目》 “李時珍曰︰木實曰果,草實曰蓏。熟則可食,乾則可脯。 没有拉稀或者其它负面的记载。”《本草纲目》
李時珍曰︰木實曰果,草實曰蓏。熟則可食,乾則可脯。豐儉可以濟時,疾苦可以備藥。輔助粒食,以養民生。故《素問》云︰五果爲助。五果者,以五味、五色應五臟,李、杏、桃、栗、棗是矣。古書欲知五穀之收否,但看五果之盛衰(李主小豆,杏主大麥,桃主小麥,栗主稻,棗主禾)。《禮記‧內則》列果品菱、 椇、榛、瓜之類。周官職方氏辨五地之物,山林宜皂物(柞、栗之屬),川澤宜膏物(菱、芡之屬)。
俺搞不大清楚李子,梅子,杏子的区别,它们都是狠相近的东东?《本草纲目》说,接成者,其味最胜。白杏,味甘淡而不酢。生杏可晒脯作干果食之。北方肉杏甚佳。没有拉稀或者其它负面的记载,有毒说的是杏仁。
大多数水果有通便的作用,杏诱发拉稀可能是西方的迷信,
当然会有个别人对杏过敏,那是另外一会事。
所以说各民族都有些自然疗法。
乡下的亲戚和我讲过这样的事:粤,客,潮三民系,基因不会有很大不同,
他们对鲤鱼、绿豆、和苋菜的性味功能,
有完全不同的说法;
自相矛盾的理论显然不可信。