斯坦福 IT

刚刚辞掉工作

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My boss is a nice person honestly. We have best communication ever. I just don't understand suddenly why a person changes to saying things not reasonable. Jump from democracy to manipulate. It's hard to swallow.

I put my questions here, because I still care. If he is a bad person, I won't waste my time and effort, as it's not worth.
Then try to find a boss who can please you all the time and make you understand everything before you agree. I’m curious if you can find one. It was you who told him what to do in the first place.
 

sofia

我的生活我做主
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楼主生气大概不是因为group message的问题,是因为你以为和他之间有chemical,没想到你一个小小的要求竟然被他拒绝了,心理上接受不了。
 

waren

春有百花秋有月,夏有凉风冬有雪。
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My boss is a nice person honestly. We have best communication ever. I just don't understand suddenly why a person changes to saying things not reasonable. Jump from democracy to manipulate. It's hard to swallow.

I put my questions here, because I still care. If he is a bad person, I won't waste my time and effort, as it's not worth.
一个国内高中英语水平的英语,有什么资格跟老板斗?你离开老板了?快找下一个工作吧。
 

waren

春有百花秋有月,夏有凉风冬有雪。
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我以前和你一样任性、脾气大,不计后果
现在收敛了一些
不过,这边的老板确实操蛋,也不全是你的错
另外,不必后悔
凡事都是塞翁失马焉知非福
我每一次换工作,都工资大涨,工作环境好了许多
是的,唯一的缺点是推荐人会觉得你太挑剔
你不幸,我的在这里工作的家人的老板很nice。
 
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Yes, I really appreciate the opportunity to learn. Previously he is very open for suggestions, we were able to discuss, and he made decision. It's just because I care about the business, so I would like to save my time to efficiently prioritize not to read unnecessary messages and use my time for something important.
He taught me a lot on EQ, and yes, I put my heart there to work. But I won't beg to learn things, I am not interested in higher position. What I care is "You trust me, and I trust you." " I do this for you today, it's because I know you will do that for me one day." It's not because of money or anything else.
Did he ask you to read every single message? What kind of app do you use for group messaging? I believe every app have the function to put it on silence or ignore the message until you really need to date back and check out the details. If you have any disagreements just calm down and have some time for yourself. You don’t need to quit right away. Quitting is not the only solution.
 
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一个国内高中英语水平的英语,有什么资格跟老板斗?你离开老板了?快找下一个工作吧。
Her English is good enough to do her job and negotiate with her boss. I built up my business by this kind of language skill. It’s better to put myself out there and dare to practice than hiding and bragging.
 
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很多下属都不配合,我都得给檫屁股,前任的一个大invoice 打回10次,所以我需要时间做我的工作, 所以要求group messaging 无关的删掉我。我学不会装傻,如果真是这样,那我是真不care your business 了,这和我的价值观有冲突,我就更不会留下来了。
我觉得这个真不算什么大事儿。我也做自己公司的财会,multi task, 还做市场、带孩子,两份学业、家务,一个group messaging 就能让你quit , 的确恐怕不胜任。我看不出跟价值观有什么关系?不用动不动上升到道德高度。你可以换一个方式沟通,如果你实在找不到方法handle group messaging? 礼貌的告诉你老板:“如果让我参与其中,会影响我的工作效率。” “I really want to help but if I continue to be involved in group messaging which is irrelevant to my work, it will affect my productivity and working quality. Is this what you want?” 有效的沟通方式,需要顾及到对方想要的结果。打个最简单的比方,如果老板让你加班,不停的让你加班,你要跟他说你的需要他可能不关心,但是如果你说再这样下去,会影响到工作质量和效率与对公司不利对他不利,他就会再三考虑了。在职场上个人合作,不要动不动讲道德,道德是最不管用的。要讲规则、怎样互动,怎样对对方有利,对方想要什么。
 
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Text message, no app. I don't have to read every single message, but something important might bury in these irrelevant messages.
So this is not mandatory but voluntary thing. You don’t need to put a huge burden on yourself by requesting yourself to read when there is nobody asked you to read the detail. If there is something relevant happened you can ask somebody relevant. Take it easy.
 
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我就是英语为零的刚刚落地的清洁工,我也有跟老板斗的资格,和老板斗需要资格吗?

清洁工和CEO都只是一份career, 没有高低。
和老板斗不需要资格,可是和老板斗对你有利吗?人家都说神一样的对手不如猪一样的队友。你和老板一个团队,荣辱与共啊。老跳槽,你不累啊?
 

sofia

我的生活我做主
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看messages也是上班时间看,反正是有pay的,不知道你有什么可upset的,慢慢看就是了。
 
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I know how to mute my cellphone at night and I usually did. I just don't want to receive and go through messages as some important message I might miss.
Obviously you don't have a choice on receiving messages. But you do have a choice on how to read and respond. How about focusing on your own work and read the messages occasionally when you have extra time just to show that you care and you are trying your best. That's it. Mute it when you are working or taking rest. You have no need to do everything perfectly or exhaust yourself. If your boss question you something, just ask somebody relevant including your boss. Tell them you were focusing your work which is more important. What you do and why you are doing this is for the benefit of the whole team.
 
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我们公司有两个员工也是为一点点小事生气走了,现在都打电话发短信写邮件想回来。如果有位子,还是会让他们回来的。夫妻之间都会吵架,跟老板吵几句也不是什么大事,天塌不下来。就算你不想高升,学会人际关系也是对你的生存有利,对你的心理健康有利。工作职场、家庭关系,最累的就是把道德摆在嘴边,动不动就是你不信任我,你不怀好意,你想控制,我为你付出多少,你忘恩负义........ endless drama。

每个人的经验、思路、个性都不同,想要让对方明白一个道理很难,若要达到目的,最有效的就是“规则互动”。想一想对方想要的,自己能做的,然后达成一个口头契约,怎样互动才能双赢。切忌避免道德挑战和争论。

比如说今天早上我老公让我做市场加一条广告,说我们可以给建筑承包商加工钢铁类零件。我说你现在要做民用业主的生意因为资金回笼快一点。他想的是不断买机器,跟大承包商合作,他不会站在我的角度去想一想BUSINESS PLAN, 生存发展的步骤;我想的是资金周转,谁付钱快、就优先做谁的生意。我要是不按照他的要求做,他就会说我不支持他、不信任他,。。。。。我会觉得他不理解我。。。。。。要是立刻上升到道德高度,又变成情绪战争:对方是不通情理、忘恩负义、专制等等各种帽子。

我想这种沟通方式也是够了。现在要是一开启这种道德、情绪模式,我就会立刻终止,说我们过一会儿再谈。然后想好怎样互动,他想要什么,达成一个口头契约。我说:“如果你每周能做几个私人业主的报价,我就给你加个广告,你拍一些照片。”当然这种互动因为我们都是业主,我俩都是老板(虽然还有男女次序、夫妇次序,我的责任蛮大的,所以说话也有分量)。如果我是员工,那我就要有界限、尊重权威,我就不能告诉他怎么做(Tell him what to do, challenge his authority),而是应该问他:“如果你要如何,就会有如何的结果,这是你想要的吗?” 作为员工的定位,就是要配合团队、做好自己的工作,不要僭越权威,告诉老板应该怎么做,否则老板无法管理任何人。不是他专制,而是他需要承担管理的角色,如果允许你僭越权威,告诉他该如何做,以后谁还听他的?公司里没有一个头,没有次序,谁都不听谁的,不是乱套了?责任越大权利越大。如果全都听你的,你能保证公司能运行下去,人人有饭吃?你上别家公司一样要遵守这个规则。

即使你功劳再大,依然要遵循此法则,否则就是韩信、岳飞的结果。再说了,很多员工做一点事情就觉得自己做了多大的贡献,其实就只是做好了份内的工作,表现是A。但也不至于可以命令老板如何的地步。你好好干,老板会给你加工资。你不想升职,总是希望待遇好的吧?
 

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