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该死的英文, 总是让我有挫败感

2014-06-08
6,633
7,581
14 天前
《中式英语“孔夫子警句”》
Confucius Says ... Chinese Proverbs

http://chinaunique.com/fun/proverbs.htm

Confucius was one of the world's greatest philosophers. Here are some humorous Confucius sayings:
转贴(个别“孔夫子警句”故意用中式英语):
A lion will not cheat on his wife, but a Tiger Wood.

Man who want pretty nurse, must be patient.

Lady who goes camping must beware of evil intent.

Man who run in front of car get tired.

Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.

Man who run behind car get exhausted.

Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day.

Foolish man give wife grand piano, wise man give wife upright organ.

Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok.

Man with one chopstick go hungry.

Man who scratch ass should not bite fingernails.

Baseball is wrong: Man with four balls cannot walk.

Panties not best thing on earth! But, next to best thing on earth.

War does not determine who is right, war determine who is left.

Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat house.

Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night.

It take many nails to build crib, but one screw to fill it.

Man who drive like hell, bound to get there.

Man who stand on toilet is high on pot.

Man who live in glass house should change clothes in basement.

Man who fish in other man's well often catch crabs.

Man who fart in church sit in own pew.

Crowded elevator smell different to midget.

Virginity like bubble, one prick, all gone.

Passionate kiss, like spider web, leads to undoing of fly.

Man who leaps off cliff, jumps to conclusion.
《标准英语“孔夫子警句”》

Confucius Says ... Chinese Proverbs

http://chinaunique.com/fun/proverbs.htm

A lion will not cheat on his wife, but a Tiger Wood.
狮子对妻子忠诚,老虎爱劈腿 - Tiger Woods 是高尔夫球运动员,因劈腿出名 a tiger would 发音和 Tiger Woods 相近 。

A man who wants a pretty nurse must be patient.

A lady who goes camping must beware of evil intent.
(A lady who goes camping must beware of evil in tent.)

A man who runs in front of a car gets tired.

A man who runs behind a car gets exhausted.

A man with his hands in his pocket feels cocky all day.

A foolish man gives his wife grand piano, a wise man gives his wife upright organ.

A man who walks through airport turnstile sideways is going to Bangkok.
Bangkok曼谷, 与 bang cock 同音,指用身体撞开单向通道的棒棒。

A man with one chopstick goes hungry.

A man who scratches his ass should not bite fingernails.

Baseball is wrong: A man with four balls cannot walk.
投出四个坏球,此时打者会被保送上一垒,英文也以Walk为同义词。

Panties are not the best thing on earth! But, next to the best thing on earth.
(人的身体最宝贵,警句包含人道主义色彩)

War does not determine who is right, war determines who is left.

A wife who puts her husband in doghouse soon finds him in cat house.
(A wife who gives her husband hard times soon finds him in brothel.)

A man who fights with his wife all day gets no piece at night.

It takes many nails to build a crib, but one screw to fill it.

A man who drives like hell is bound to get there.

A man who stands on toilet is high on pot.
pot有坐厕和大麻双重意思。

A man who lives in glass house should change clothes in the basement.

A man who fishes in other man's well often catches crabs.
crabs 一种性病,或蟹

A man who farts in church sit in his own pew.
pew 教堂的长椅子,或者臭屁,习惯上说 sit in the pew 不用 on.

A crowded elevator smells different to midgets.

Virginity is like a bubble, one prick, all gone.

A passionate kiss, like a spider web, leads to undoing of fly.
fly 蝇 或者 拉链

A man who leaps off the cliff jumps to conclusion.
 
最后编辑: 14 天前

oldbei

知名园友
2010-05-13
13,703
13,224
13 天前
《标准英语“孔夫子警句”》
A man who walks through airport turnstile sideways is going to Bangkok.
Bangkok曼谷, 与 bang cock 同音,指用身体撞开单向通道的棒棒。
既然kok是cock之意,辣么警句的意思似为:用棒棒撞开单向通道的棒棒。:LOL::LOL::LOL:
 
2014-06-08
6,633
7,581
13 天前
既然kok是cock之意,辣么警句的意思似为:用棒棒撞开单向通道的棒棒。
有几句问过加拿大人才明白。

中式英语:Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.
问一个加拿大人,也不懂这pun。

还原为标准英语就好理解了:

标准英语1 - A man who eats many prunes gets a good run for his money.
吃很多李干是一种享受。

标准英语2 - A man who eats many prunes gets the runs...
吃很多李干会拉稀...
 
最后编辑: 13 天前

sabre的马甲

知名园友
2011-06-20
10,954
16,702
13 天前
有几句问过加拿大人才明白。

中式英语:Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.
问一个加拿大人,也不懂这pun。

还原为标准英语就好理解了:

标准英语1 - A man who eats many prunes gets a good run for his money.
吃很多杏子是一种享受。

标准英语2 - A man who eats many prunes gets the runs...
吃很多杏子会拉稀...
A man who eats many prunes sits on toilet many moons
 
2014-06-08
6,633
7,581
13 天前
既然kok是cock之意,辣么警句的意思似为:用棒棒撞开单向通道的棒棒。:LOL::LOL::LOL:
棒棒过安检会被没收的。
 
2014-06-08
6,633
7,581
13 天前
最后编辑: 13 天前

oldbei

知名园友
2010-05-13
13,703
13,224
13 天前
有几句问过加拿大人才明白。

中式英语:Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.
问一个加拿大人,也不懂这pun。

还原为标准英语就好理解了:

标准英语1 - A man who eats many prunes gets a good run for his money.
吃很多杏子是一种享受。

标准英语2 - A man who eats many prunes gets the runs...
吃很多杏子会拉稀...
俺看到一个更完整的版本:
Man who eats too many prunes gets a good run for his money, and will be on the lavatory for many moons.
俺的翻译:孔子云,食梅不止,花钱不多,滑肠不少。:LOL::LOL::LOL:
 
2014-06-08
6,633
7,581
13 天前
俺的翻译:孔子云,食梅不止,花钱不多,滑肠不少。
在我的老家,他们认为青梅止泄。
我吃的李子和李干,没有发现和其它水果有明显不同。
 
最后编辑: 13 天前
2014-06-08
6,633
7,581
13 天前
《本草纲目》
李時珍曰︰木實曰果,草實曰蓏。熟則可食,乾則可脯。豐儉可以濟時,疾苦可以備藥。輔助粒食,以養民生。故《素問》云︰五果爲助。五果者,以五味、五色應五臟,李、杏、桃、栗、棗是矣。古書欲知五穀之收否,但看五果之盛衰(李主小豆,杏主大麥,桃主小麥,栗主稻,棗主禾)。《禮記‧內則》列果品菱、 椇、榛、瓜之類。周官職方氏辨五地之物,山林宜皂物(柞、栗之屬),川澤宜膏物(菱、芡之屬)。
《本草纲目》 “李時珍曰︰木實曰果,草實曰蓏。熟則可食,乾則可脯。 没有拉稀或者其它负面的记载。”

大多数水果有通便的作用,李干诱发拉稀可能是西方的迷信,
当然会有个别人对李过敏,那是另外一会事。
 
最后编辑: 13 天前

oldbei

知名园友
2010-05-13
13,703
13,224
13 天前
《本草纲目》说,接成者,其味最胜。白杏,味甘淡而不酢。生杏可晒脯作干果食之。北方肉杏甚佳。没有拉稀或者其它负面的记载,有毒说的是杏仁。

绝大多数水果有通便的作用,杏诱发拉稀可能是西方的迷信,
当然会有个别人对杏过敏,那是另外一会事。
所以说各民族都有些自然疗法。:giggle:
 

oldbei

知名园友
2010-05-13
13,703
13,224
13 天前
在我的老家,他们认为青梅止泄。
我吃的杏子,没有发现和其它水果有明显不同。
基因差异,所以国内要搞"适合中国淫的婴儿食品"。方舟子则不以为然。
 
2014-06-08
6,633
7,581
13 天前
基因差异,所以国内要搞"适合中国淫的婴儿食品"。方舟子则不以为然。
粤,客,潮三民系,基因不会有很大不同,
他们对鲤鱼、绿豆、和苋菜的性味功能,
有完全不同的说法;
自相矛盾的理论显然不可信。
 

oldbei

知名园友
2010-05-13
13,703
13,224
13 天前
《本草纲目》说,接成者,其味最胜。白杏,味甘淡而不酢。生杏可晒脯作干果食之。北方肉杏甚佳。没有拉稀或者其它负面的记载,有毒说的是杏仁。

大多数水果有通便的作用,杏诱发拉稀可能是西方的迷信,
当然会有个别人对杏过敏,那是另外一会事。
俺搞不大清楚李子,梅子,杏子的区别,它们都是狠相近的东东?

咱们在说prunes,你怎么会说到杏子呢?俺查鸟一哈词典,莫发现prune有杏子的意思啊?杏子不是apricot吗?
 
2014-06-08
6,633
7,581
13 天前
俺搞不大清楚李子,梅子,杏子的区别,它们都是狠相近的东东?

咱们在说prunes,你怎么会说到杏子呢?俺查鸟一哈词典,莫发现prune有杏子的意思啊?杏子不是apricot吗?
我搞错了。prunes 是李干,我把错误的帖子改过了。

李子,梅子,杏子在植物学上是相近的东东,
梅子很酸。李子紫红色,有的品种果肉比较脆,杏子一般是黄色,都要熟透软绵才好吃。
 
最后编辑: 13 天前
楼主
楼主
shw019

shw019

知名园友
2005-11-26
9,893
8,872
13 天前
所以说各民族都有些自然疗法。:giggle:
粤,客,潮三民系,基因不会有很大不同,
他们对鲤鱼、绿豆、和苋菜的性味功能,
有完全不同的说法;
自相矛盾的理论显然不可信。
乡下的亲戚和我讲过这样的事:
小时候没有吃的, 饿肚子, 但村里有枣树, 每年结了枣子, 大家就吃枣子充饥, 结果个个吃得拉稀不止。
通过大家的贴子, 我在想, 人体对于食物的接受都是有个度的。蛋白食物吃多了, 会造成蛋白质中毒; 但又有太多的人因为得不到含有蛋白的食物, 而患上蛋白质缺乏症。