转贴(个别“孔夫子警句”故意用中式英语):
Confucius Says ... Chinese Proverbs
http://chinaunique.com/fun/proverbs.htm
Confucius was one of the world's greatest philosophers. Here are some humorous Confucius sayings:
A lion will not cheat on his wife, but a Tiger Wood.
Man who want pretty nurse, must be patient.
Lady who goes camping must beware of evil intent.
Man who run in front of car get tired.
Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.
Man who run behind car get exhausted.
Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day.
Foolish man give wife grand piano, wise man give wife upright organ.
Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok.
Man with one chopstick go hungry.
Man who scratch ass should not bite fingernails.
Baseball is wrong: Man with four balls cannot walk.
Panties not best thing on earth! But, next to best thing on earth.
War does not determine who is right, war determine who is left.
Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat house.
Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night.
It take many nails to build crib, but one screw to fill it.
Man who drive like hell, bound to get there.
Man who stand on toilet is high on pot.
Man who live in glass house should change clothes in basement.
Man who fish in other man's well often catch crabs.
Man who fart in church sit in own pew.
Crowded elevator smell different to midget.
Virginity like bubble, one prick, all gone.
Passionate kiss, like spider web, leads to undoing of fly.
Man who leaps off cliff, jumps to conclusion.