Emotional flu: how to spot the signs and ward off the symptoms
by NAOMI COLEMAN, femail.co.uk
Sit down with your partner and let them take some of the load
If you feel short tempered, constantly tired and negative all the time, you could be suffering from emotional flu - a syndrome caused by an imbalance of work and life.
Here, we show you how to spot the symptoms, what to do if you're suffering from emotional flu and how to keep the problem at bay
ARE YOU SUFFERING FROM EMOTIONAL FLU? USE OUR SYMPTOM CHECKER TO FIND OUT
If you suffer from three or more of the following symptoms you could be suffering from emotional flu.
• Constant fatigue
• Loss of sense of humour
• Freneticism - where you rush around constantly
• Being less decisive than normal
• A tendency to drink or smoke more
• Becoming socially withdrawn
• Being more aggressive than usual for no apparent reason.
Professor Cary Cooper of the University of Manchester Institute of Science and Technology says: 'It depends on the individual, but if you suffer from one symptom severely or at least three at the same time, you could be suffering from an imbalance of work and life,' he says.
__________________________________________
In most cases, emotional flu is not serious and can be easily cured.
Read our guide below to find out how to ward it off.
• Speak to your boss
If work is too much and you're finding it hard to cope, speak to your boss. According to the Department of Trade and Industry, employers are developing a wide range of work-life balance options, covering flexible working arrangements and flexible benefit packages.
Speak to your boss about
flexible working hours
Although there is currently no law which enforces flexible working hours, an increasing number of companies are understanding and keen to help if you want to work fewer hours or work part-time from home.
However, from April next year, all parents of children under the age of six will have the right to ask their employers for more flexible working hours under the Employment Act. Although the company is not obliged by law to give you flexible arrangements, the employer must seriously consider this request.
There is no specific law covering stress and its effects, but under the 1974 Health and Safety Act employers have a general duty to look after employees' physical and mental wellbeing, and that includes preventing stress-related illnesses.
• Give yourself an 'exit hour'
If you feel that work and home are taking over your life and you're left with no time for yourself, take an hour or two off. Professor Cary Cooper suggests giving yourself an 'exit hour'. At work this means organising your work in such a way that you are able to leave on time and take an hour or two off to spend time doing things you want to do.
At home it could involve taking time to plan your exit hour or hours with your partner. Sit him or her down in a formal way and be specific about when you want time off. Make sure your partner knows that the responsibility of doing the washing up, putting the children to bed or taking the dog out for a walk is his or her responsibility until you get back.
Then, decide how you want to spend your exit hour or hours. It could be going for a swim, meeting up with friends or going to the cinema. Making time for yourself at least twice a week should really help.
• Avoid alcohol-fuelled conversations
Avoid alcohol-fuelled
evenings and do
something fun instead
Rather than sitting around drinking alcohol with friends and moaning about life, do something more constructive with your friends to boost positive thinking, says Dr Dorothy Rowe, author of Friends and Enemies, a psychological investigation into what makes relationships good or bad.
Instead, take up a sport or go to the cinema - a good way to avoid talking or thinking about work - and inject some fun into your life. Although it's fine to have a drink with friends sometimes, Dr Rowe suggests if you are getting together to talk, make a concerted effort to talk rather than moan. When the conversation returns to old, tired complaints, change the subject and talk about something else.
• Turn your job into something meaningful
You may not be Florence Nightingale, but if your job is meaningful to you, research shows people feel more satisfied and happy. A study by America's University of Missouri in Columbia found that feelings of competence, autonomy and a sense of closeness to colleagues brings feelings of safety and meaning.
So, if your job is too repetitive or routine, consider some ideas on how to make it more interesting. For example, speak to your boss about how to vary your job. If you feel you need to improve relations with your colleagues, organise a night out where you can speak about other issues besides work.
If this fails, ask yourself what kind of job would fulfil you and investigate how to go about getting into that field.
You can get advice on finding your ideal job with our CareerStep service. Click here to find out about CareerStep.
• Find some spiritual fulfilment
In order to find more meaning in your life, psychologist Ingrid Collins of the London Medical Centre in Harley Street, recommends nurturing your spiritual well-being, because it helps you to focus on what you have - rather than what you haven't got.
She suggests treating yourself to some energy treatment such as reiki - a form of therapy in which 'healing energy' is channelled from one person to another. Alternatively, you could choose meditation, a system which aims to give you total relaxation of body and mind through breathing and clearing the mind.
To find a reiki practitioner, contact the UK Reiki Foundation at www.reikifed.co.uk.
• Do some voluntary work
If you feel that your life is too routine and unfulfilling, experts suggest doing something worthy such as voluntary work. This is because helping other people can make you feel good - and takes you away from your routine way of life.
Helping out in a soup kitchen, or raising money for charity by doing a car boot sale, for example, can be a very nourishing experience. 'Putting other people first for once makes you realise the higher values of life,' says Ingrid Collins.
You can find voluntary work in your local area at www.do-it.org.uk
___________________________________________
WHAT TO DO IF THE PROBLEM GETS WORSE
If you - or someone close to you - notices sudden changes in your mood or behaviour over a period of several months, then it might be worth going to your GP and asking to be referred to a counsellor. Talking to a counsellor specialising in stress or family therapy can help reduce anxiety and put things in perspective.
by NAOMI COLEMAN, femail.co.uk
Sit down with your partner and let them take some of the load
If you feel short tempered, constantly tired and negative all the time, you could be suffering from emotional flu - a syndrome caused by an imbalance of work and life.
Here, we show you how to spot the symptoms, what to do if you're suffering from emotional flu and how to keep the problem at bay
ARE YOU SUFFERING FROM EMOTIONAL FLU? USE OUR SYMPTOM CHECKER TO FIND OUT
If you suffer from three or more of the following symptoms you could be suffering from emotional flu.
• Constant fatigue
• Loss of sense of humour
• Freneticism - where you rush around constantly
• Being less decisive than normal
• A tendency to drink or smoke more
• Becoming socially withdrawn
• Being more aggressive than usual for no apparent reason.
Professor Cary Cooper of the University of Manchester Institute of Science and Technology says: 'It depends on the individual, but if you suffer from one symptom severely or at least three at the same time, you could be suffering from an imbalance of work and life,' he says.
__________________________________________
In most cases, emotional flu is not serious and can be easily cured.
Read our guide below to find out how to ward it off.
• Speak to your boss
If work is too much and you're finding it hard to cope, speak to your boss. According to the Department of Trade and Industry, employers are developing a wide range of work-life balance options, covering flexible working arrangements and flexible benefit packages.
Speak to your boss about
flexible working hours
Although there is currently no law which enforces flexible working hours, an increasing number of companies are understanding and keen to help if you want to work fewer hours or work part-time from home.
However, from April next year, all parents of children under the age of six will have the right to ask their employers for more flexible working hours under the Employment Act. Although the company is not obliged by law to give you flexible arrangements, the employer must seriously consider this request.
There is no specific law covering stress and its effects, but under the 1974 Health and Safety Act employers have a general duty to look after employees' physical and mental wellbeing, and that includes preventing stress-related illnesses.
• Give yourself an 'exit hour'
If you feel that work and home are taking over your life and you're left with no time for yourself, take an hour or two off. Professor Cary Cooper suggests giving yourself an 'exit hour'. At work this means organising your work in such a way that you are able to leave on time and take an hour or two off to spend time doing things you want to do.
At home it could involve taking time to plan your exit hour or hours with your partner. Sit him or her down in a formal way and be specific about when you want time off. Make sure your partner knows that the responsibility of doing the washing up, putting the children to bed or taking the dog out for a walk is his or her responsibility until you get back.
Then, decide how you want to spend your exit hour or hours. It could be going for a swim, meeting up with friends or going to the cinema. Making time for yourself at least twice a week should really help.
• Avoid alcohol-fuelled conversations
Avoid alcohol-fuelled
evenings and do
something fun instead
Rather than sitting around drinking alcohol with friends and moaning about life, do something more constructive with your friends to boost positive thinking, says Dr Dorothy Rowe, author of Friends and Enemies, a psychological investigation into what makes relationships good or bad.
Instead, take up a sport or go to the cinema - a good way to avoid talking or thinking about work - and inject some fun into your life. Although it's fine to have a drink with friends sometimes, Dr Rowe suggests if you are getting together to talk, make a concerted effort to talk rather than moan. When the conversation returns to old, tired complaints, change the subject and talk about something else.
• Turn your job into something meaningful
You may not be Florence Nightingale, but if your job is meaningful to you, research shows people feel more satisfied and happy. A study by America's University of Missouri in Columbia found that feelings of competence, autonomy and a sense of closeness to colleagues brings feelings of safety and meaning.
So, if your job is too repetitive or routine, consider some ideas on how to make it more interesting. For example, speak to your boss about how to vary your job. If you feel you need to improve relations with your colleagues, organise a night out where you can speak about other issues besides work.
If this fails, ask yourself what kind of job would fulfil you and investigate how to go about getting into that field.
You can get advice on finding your ideal job with our CareerStep service. Click here to find out about CareerStep.
• Find some spiritual fulfilment
In order to find more meaning in your life, psychologist Ingrid Collins of the London Medical Centre in Harley Street, recommends nurturing your spiritual well-being, because it helps you to focus on what you have - rather than what you haven't got.
She suggests treating yourself to some energy treatment such as reiki - a form of therapy in which 'healing energy' is channelled from one person to another. Alternatively, you could choose meditation, a system which aims to give you total relaxation of body and mind through breathing and clearing the mind.
To find a reiki practitioner, contact the UK Reiki Foundation at www.reikifed.co.uk.
• Do some voluntary work
If you feel that your life is too routine and unfulfilling, experts suggest doing something worthy such as voluntary work. This is because helping other people can make you feel good - and takes you away from your routine way of life.
Helping out in a soup kitchen, or raising money for charity by doing a car boot sale, for example, can be a very nourishing experience. 'Putting other people first for once makes you realise the higher values of life,' says Ingrid Collins.
You can find voluntary work in your local area at www.do-it.org.uk
___________________________________________
WHAT TO DO IF THE PROBLEM GETS WORSE
If you - or someone close to you - notices sudden changes in your mood or behaviour over a period of several months, then it might be worth going to your GP and asking to be referred to a counsellor. Talking to a counsellor specialising in stress or family therapy can help reduce anxiety and put things in perspective.
