回复: BigLion申请学校进程
对于申请大学，个人陈述和推荐信是很重要的东东。再强调他们的重要性也不为过。这个可是由前辈们的经验和我咨询教授们的个人看法之后得到的结论哦。
下面这个也是来自网上，比较特别的是它附上了作者个人点评。BigLion以为PS写的不是太令人激赏，但看看他个人的点评有点帮助。：）有收获的给我加SW哦.
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caleb点评自己的PS
留学E路通精华区，转自水木清华站，清风紫竹整理
Statement of Purpose
My birthplace determined the core of myself./*第一句是很关键的。我曾想过很多，结果还是用了这个最不得意的。因为它最符合整篇的风格。*/Born in Liaohe Oil field/*辽河油田，我的家乡*/,an area that has long been so savage and desolate that rarely did people reside there, I was able to witness how my parents and other workers fought with relentless determination and how they strove to explore the great uncertainty for treasure-crude oil./*为下文埋下伏笔*/ Apart from the bravery, another great benefit I obtained was learning to be unfettered when dealing with problems. Since most problems they encountered everyday were fresh to them, my parents and their peers had to throw off the trammel of additional ways and seek alternatives. Thus, innovation was ingrained in my character even before I received any formal education./*米国人欣赏INNOVATION，也正好是自己的真实写照，所以重笔描绘。*/
Thanks to the austerity of my birthplace, I was endowed with many dominant characteristics, which influenced both my private life as well as academic life in my future. /*现在想想的确如此，小时候的漫天疯跑玩耍真的养成了CALEB放荡不羁的性格*/Combining them with my own diligence and intelligence, I was able to distinguish myself to enter "Chicago" No. 2 Senior High School. The reason why I chose it was not only for its reputation of "the cradle of future college students," but also because of its unique didactics-leaving great room for self-improvement. This seemed radical compared to other schools then, but fortunately it suited my innovative nature very much. Instead of being ossified by lectures or textbooks, we were encouraged to learn by ourselves, communicate, and cooperate with others (for instance, we always formed into groups to discuss specific topics like the theme of an essay or a historic figure) and participate in extracurricular activities./*高中是一所重点高中。2中的特点就是崇尚自由发展，课堂时间短，自习时间长，活动时间长。想想当时2中的生活真的给自己养成了好的思维习惯。同样， 段也是迎合鬼子崇尚自由的心理，当然说的也是事实，没有丝毫的虚构*/
Everything went on smoothly until I met the biggest challenge of my life - I failed to enter Tsinghua University, maybe the best university in China, on the National College Entrance Test (NCET, similar to SAT). I was unable to face the fact for a long while although I was admitted to "University of Minnesota", another prestigious higher education institute of China. However, my brave nature dominated and made me stand again to confront the unsuccessfulness. Up to now, I still feel proud of my choice and the very effort I made to fulfill my goal then. Despite the failure, I did succeed in gaining self-assurance under any unfavorable circumstances. /* 高考时真的没考上清华，现在回头看看真是遗憾，那时太小，根本不懂一个好大学对自己有什么影响。要是当时能把自己申请的一半力气用上，估计肯定能考上了。这段其实是照应前面的 BRAVERY。也为自己不是名校出身做了一点点委婉的解释。*/
During four years' college study, I was chosen into the Talented Student Program after an extremely stiff competition - screening nearly 1,700 freshmen for the best 35./*就是所谓的尖子班，好象很多学校都有，清华我一个同学就是*/ We had a much harder burden but enjoyed an eclectic syllabus as you can see from my transcripts. /* 本科的课程很杂，当时也很辛苦，不过很值得。现在看可解决大问题了。 这绝对是自己申请中的一个优势。*/We were able to hear lectures given by almost all prominent professors of the university, from mathematical analysis to strategy management./*说这两门课是因为数学很重要，而且我的一封推荐信就是让数学分析老师写的，有所照应，至于战略管理也同理可证*/ I was completely enchanted by the academic world, from abstract theory of mathematics to practical principles of economics. Academics was so intriguing to me that it was during this period of time that I made up my mind to take academics as my career goal, specifically, be a professor in a university. I chose management as major because management had long been ignored in China and few people had ever made great efforts to explore this "savage and desolate" area, just like my birthplace - Liaohe Oil Field./*这一小段可以说是我自己感觉最精彩的一部分，照应了前面的 叙述，把选择专业的问题回答的很圆满，其实说实话，自己心理的潜意识也是这么想的，说心里话当然很容易了。*/Thus it will be challenging but deserving if I devote myself to the study of this area. /*这段是回答问什么选择本专业的问题。到大学时才确定是比较正常的思路，也容易为人所接受。*/
My first exploration was my undergraduate work paper---"Research on Industrial Organization of Fodder Industry of "Minnesota Province". It was a totally new subject to me, to most of my classmates and even some professors because the theory was introduced to China very recently. I did the research mainly by quantitative analysis on historical data. A simple mathematical model/*其实就是一元线形回归分析*/ was established to interpret and predict the status of industrial organization of "Minnesota" fodder industry. Through about 4 months research, I understood what is a researcher's work: from the very beginning, identifying the problem, seeking related data and documents, making himself familiar with various views on the problem, analyzing and organizing them from his own to synthesize the result of the academic activity: a report, a paper, or a thesis./*的确当时写论文是大姑娘上矫---头一遭，所以特别用心。虽然数据有“伪造”嫌疑，但是现在回头看看，觉得风格还是满正式的。 */
While exposed to various academic fields to broaden my horizon during college study, I narrowed my efforts on basic research skills and did research mainly by myself during graduate study. I firmly believe that by doing so, I would make my academic future more grounded and better prepared. I drilled myself on computer programming for a specific academic aim (i.e. seeking the best solutions of optimistic problems) instead of just for fun. By searching indexes or Internet for specific materials for my own research, I began to be accustomed to taking advantage of these basic academic skills. From 2nd year of graduate study I participated in the research sponsored by the Science & Tech Commission of "Chicago" municipal government. The research is quite comprehensive but mainly involves investigating the organizational transformation of "Chicago" Science & Tech research institutes from public to profitable sectors and how to improve their effectiveness from strategic perspective. /*到了这一段，我自己感觉我PS开写走下坡路了。很简单，因为我的研究生生活过的远不象本科乃至高中时那么爽。本科的精英教育让我一到研究生阶段非常的不适应，感觉老师怎么一个比一个差啊？因此没学什么正经东东，天天逃课。从研2开始申请一次，失败了之后再来。所以更是没干什么正是。体会不深，也写不出什么东西。*/ /*明眼人能看出来，一般的PS其实会把研究生的课题写的很多的。很多牛人也是 到这里开始出彩了。可是我却偏偏一笔带过。没什么，不是没向导，实在是不敢下笔。因为我的课题实际是研究国有资产，而“国有资产”这个词汇只有在中国讨论的很凶，米国鬼子根本就不放在眼里。所以也不敢展开。这一点实在是 我申请的“软肋”。后来UCLA的鬼子面试第一个问题就是这个，结果很自然的我就被句掉了。*/
To fulfill my career goal, I intend to pursue my Ph.D. and further my study in a program best fit for me. Your honored program falls into my scope not only because of the great prestige of University of Michigan and the program, but also because 3 points so fascinating to me:
* Rarely does any other program stress on academic innovation like yours. Needless to say, rarely does any other program fit my innovative nature like yours either.
* The research-oriented program will allow me to take best advantage of my diverse skills developed during undergraduate and graduate study.
* The small size of the program will provide me with more opportunity to share views with world-class faculty and learn from them.
/* 这一段是我冥思苦想出来的，因为要写为什么选择该笑，当时觉得太头疼了。为什么，就是要你的名和利吗。不过那么写太赤裸裸了。而要写的行云流水又不现实，所以我创造出来了个“列表”法， 把一些优点罗列出来。换一个学校就换几点。比较公式化。不过好象效果不太好。自己去判断吧。*/
If I were fortunate enough to be admitted, I would like to concentrate my Ph.D. study on:
* Organizational transformation, esp. research that investigates such behavior under transitional circumstances.
* Strategic adaptation, esp. research that inquires how organizations design and implement new strategy dynamically.
* Management of technology, esp. analysis of governmental and organizational effect on technology development.
/* 这段写要学什么方向去，我TMD其实学什么都成。只要给钱，钱，是我当时唯一要得到的东东。当然现在有了OFFER就装清高了，也得考虑考虑什么气候了，地点了等等。。。 但是不写还不太好。结果又是，我感觉自己不了解的东西一写是准穿帮。不专业，不地道。 */
Your kind suggestion on this matter will be appreciated. At last, I am confident that under your seasoned guidance, I will fully develop my intellectual potential in academic research. It will come as no surprise that one-day, I become one of the foremost authorities on Chinese management after I graduate from your program./*最后一段是最差的了。 新东方的老师看了肯定会笑的前仰后合，因为就是造抄新东方的书信选。 我当时的PS自己感觉越写月走下坡路， 到最后竟然实在没有可写的了。 只好。。。”窃书不算偷书“了。 各位看官莫笑。*/
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总评：
这篇PS的套路很简单， 就是个人成长型。本来想用更新奇的写法， 但想来想去，觉得自己功力不逮，还是作罢。当时正是GRE刚考完， 所以PS 里出现了很多大家很熟悉的词汇。有点卖弄了。不过还是有点效果。
全文可能就是一些用词还算可圈可点。还有LIAOHE OIL FIELD的前后呼应是个亮点。别的其实也就平平。如果打分的话，我给自己打7分/10分满。
当时写PS时曾给国内的2个朋友看，结果被狠狠批了一顿。 TRACY MM说我花太多笔墨在大学之前了。 浙大的网友说我没写出研究的东东。当时给我打击太大了。 花了这么长时间的酝酿就得到这么一个评论？
后来让我的网妹---CLAUDIA（她在TEXAS）给我看。 并且我对她说一定要给 我找个“老教授”看看。并且开始不要对他说是谁写的，和她什么关系。 就是要他的第一印象。结果CLAUDIA对我说，教授当时看呆了，不住赞叹，而且让他产生了来中国的念头。我知道CLAUDIA一向是鼓励我，所以可能有点夸张。不过我敢肯定的是，我PS能打动一些鬼子。 这就足够了。
严格说，我PS肯定会被很多牛人所耻笑。如我前面所说，我有些避实就虚了。一般人爱写的什么项目了，实验了，论文拉，我写的明显太少。现在回头看看，觉得自己没有走错。因为人的条件不同，牛人当然就是牛。我2年前认识的清华大牛， 一夜之间就能搞掂BEKELEY的OFFER，凭的就是他的文章。 但是他 PS写的，真是“又臭又长”（听到了您可别生气啊，呵呵）。可读性极差。前几天我让一个正准备出国的本科生看，他问我，这个人去哪了？我告诉他，他去的地方肯定你是去不成了。牛人就是这么样的牛---我的PS甚至都有错字，照别人抄的连性别都忘了改，照样有牛校接着。人比人得气死人。
我的PS严格说不是STATEMENT OF PURPOSE， 而是PERSONAL STATEMENT。 这两者是有一点点区别的。前者可能就是大家印象中的那种中规中矩的PS， 而后者则走的是个人路线， 强调个人的性格和潜力，而不强调经验和成绩。这种风格国外的PS中常用。我觉得自己就是受他们的影响很深。当然最重要的是自己的确没什么可夸的。如果非名校的朋友们觉得自己没什么太多的成绩，不妨也试试走这种细腻的写法。如果学人家的长传冲吊，恐怕没什么前途。
还有。我说了，我的PS前半段写的感觉比后面精彩，那是因为我有感而发，写的自然流畅一些。可是后面的就差多了。 希望您自己写的时候也试试？多写自己的真实感受，“为赋新词强说愁”恐怕效果更差。PS的好坏不会决定一个人的成功与否，但是写好了绝对加重成功的砝码。
最后提醒各位，请领会精神，抄袭是没有前途的。后果自负。
。我一般先看院系faculty的研究兴趣和他们的网页，反正每个学校要的具体事项看过也记不住，不外乎Toefl, transcripts, CV, statement of interest/research plan。其实象我这样的，那里挑什么，只要专业符合我的打算，老板还Nice就好啦。现在还是没有确定具体研究方向，也不知道何时开始陶瓷。还要准备什么statement of interest, CV这些需要精工细琢的东东
今天先记到这里，也正在考虑申请读书的互相交流一下吧。或者跟贴顶一下啊，哈哈
