Top 10 Things I’ve Always Wanted to Say to Dave
10. Alec Baldwin: “Of all the talk shows, yours is most geographically convenient to my home.”
9. Barbara Walters: “Did you know that you wear the same cologne as Muammar Qaddafi?”
8. Steve Martin: “Your extensive plastic surgery was a necessity and a mistake.”
7. Jerry Seinfeld: “I have no idea what I’ll do when you go off the air … You know, I just thought of something. I’ll be fine.”
6. Jim Carrey: “Honestly, Dave, I’ve always found you to be a bit of an over-actor.”
5. Chris Rock: “I’m just glad your show is being given to another white guy.”
4. Julia Louis-Dreyfus: “Thanks for letting me take part in another hugely disappointing series finale.”
3. Peyton Manning: “You are to comedy what I am to comedy.”
2. Tina Fey: “Thanks for finally proving men can be funny.”
1. Bill Murray: “I’ll never have the money I owe you.”