加拿大家园论坛

ZT 原来枫叶国也有JOKE啊

原文链接:https://forum.iask.ca/threads/338418/

dispossessed : 2010-04-24#1
A Few Words on Canadian Identity, Culture, Multiculturalism, Racism & Canada’s Immigration Policies

Well, I woke up this morning, confident in the Canadian Mosaic of misinformation, misrepresentation, and general “hug thy neighbor” because they are “new” philosophies, and what happens while I’m asleep at the wheel with a half full Kokanee between my leg?

Those damn Tories went and whisked away my general feeling of political incorrectness by going and informing the teaming mass’ piling up at the gates of Heaven (you know, Custom’s and Immigration Canada) that we Canuckians aren’t perfect, we don’t always get it right, this isn’t necessarily the best place to live, and oh, by the way, we do occasionally put the Beaver hunting aside and go target practicing for terrorists when we are not consuming huge quantities of pork and beer after our little dip in the icy water.

Imagine my surprise to wake up to the newly released “Discover Canada” guide.

A Federal document extolling the history of our nation, the identity of the Canadian mosaic and it’s purpose, coupled with the expectations and onus of responsibility placed on new Canadians as they make their homes here.

Couldn’t have twisted my mind more if you’d flipped a couple of hits of Acid in my morning coffee and replaced my flip-flops with fuzzy bunny slippers.

For a significant part of my life, and definitely my voting life, I’ve had to watch as the meaning and definition of being Canadian became more and more obscure. I sat back and witnessed Liberal and Conservative Governments alike pervert the meaning of being Canadian for the sake of votes.

I’ll tell you a quick story that I’m not very proud of, but needs to be told because to me it leads to my definition of what a Canadian should strive to achieve.

When I was a lad growing up during the 70’s in Calgary, a city whose growth was exponential during that decade (when I moved here at the ripe age of four in 1970, the population was 165,000 and the tallest building was the International Hotel, by 79’ there was 500,000 people here, and 45 Sky-cranes in the core), I went to a Junior High in 79’ that had exactly one Black student (yes, I know it’s politically correct to say African Canadian, but Black is Black, Red is Red, Green is Green and White is White, and when a dudes family lives in Canada since before Confederation, he isn’t African anymore, he’s a Black Canadian of African origin, just like I’m a White Canadian of European origin), and not a single East Indian or Pakistani, although there were a smattering of Chinese and the odd Japanese kid around. In fact, you could get on a bus, go all over the city, and you’d be lucky if you saw anyone other than a Caucasian person walking up or down the street.

There simply weren’t that many identifiable minorities. That is until the Liberals, under Trudeau in the mid-seventies, discovered that if you open the immigration floodgates up, you get fresh, grateful voters. I’ll get back to this.

Anyway, there I was, little Mr. Unconscious Red-Neck, standing in line for lunch one day in grade 7, beside my very good friend Fraser. He made a snide remark to me, and I looked at him and said with all humor intended, “don’t be a dumb Nigger”.

Well, needless to say my very good friend Fraser (who stood 4 inches taller than me, and 25 pounds heavier) almost instantly had me on the ground and was beating the living shit out of me. It took two other buddies to pull him off, and by the time they dragged him away, I’d earned myself two black-eyes and a broken nose, and everyone around me wondering what the hell set Fraser off.

You see Fraser was the only Black student in my school, and none of us saw him as anything but another student. We weren’t indoctrinated into a society of segregation, we were not taught to think about the fact that people were this color or that creed… we simply were. So when Fraser lit up, neither I nor anyone else around me understood the profound and painful insult I’d rendered him.

This story gets better though. This is the irony of a naïve society manifesting itself to try and correct a situation, and doing it the wrong way. I’ll explain:

I may have been the one to slight another, callously tarnishing his race to his face with a derogatory and denigrating name, but my school took the insult a little farther, by suspending poor Fraser for 3 days for fighting.

I, of course, as the picture of innocence, arrived home looking a tad battered, and of course my Father wanted to know why.

I have to say my old man was a damn fine fellow.

Once having heard my story, he lost it, he was furious, livid, fit to be tied in his anger, and his anger wasn’t at my friend Fraser. He was mad at me, and at the school. My Father, the paradigm of proper, the champion of all things a gentleman should do. The man who daily bemoaned the state of the world and hated all things communist, picked me up by the shoulders, pinned my sorry ass against the wall, and told me in no uncertain terms that if I ever uttered that word again he would beat me to within an inch of my life himself.

He then sat me down, and calmly, explained to me exactly what I had done. He then apologized to me for not having explained this matter beforehand. (Although he did make a comment later that night to my mother that the reason he hadn’t bothered explaining anything to me about race or religion was that he thought I was smart enough to understand, and that he was quite beside himself that his son was an idiot.)

Needless to say, I finished up supper, went over to Fraser’s house, and sat at the table with he and his parents, and began a very long, and very heartfelt apology.

You see, it wasn’t that I wasn’t aware of the Slavery trade, or how Africans had come to be in North America, or the displacement of the Acadians. It wasn’t that I wasn’t sympathetic to the plight of persecuted people, having only to look at my own Scottish history. I was just too young to have put two and two together and realize that Fraser and his family were a result of those history lessons.

I’d never seen Fraser as a persecuted person. I’d never thought of him as someone whose family had gone through so much for the freedoms they had. He was just a buddy I’d been screwing with.

Needless to say Fraser and his family forgave me that night, and even spent some time explaining their Acadian roots to me. By the time I’d left for home, the damage had been repaired, but it left a mark on the school, and the rest of our friends, that had yet to be resolved.

Curtain lifts, and in steps my old man to fix the unfixable.

My father was a very senior person with one of the major banks in Calgary back in the day when that still actually meant something on a societal level, and when he spoke people listened. Particularly the principal and his staff, whom my father on a good day typically treated with the respect one gives a dog as he urinates on your lawn. That is to say, they were all scared shitless of my Dad. He felt very strongly that the school system was highly inadequate, and failing to teach his children anything of relevance.

I suppose in retrospect, given this particular occasion, he was right.

The morning after the incident, he called the School Principal, the School Priest, and Frasers Dad, and asked them to meet him at the school, with special mention to Frasers father to bring his lad. He grabbed me, his smokes, and drove over to the school with a look that even the Devil would have cowered and withered from, and upon arrival at the principals office, deposited me beside Fraser outside the office, took Fraser’s Dad by the arm and stepped out into the hall. I could hear him apologizing to Mr. Fraser for his lack of responsibility in educating his sorry excuse of a son, and promising Mr. Fraser that the oversight had been corrected, and his son suspension would be as well. All this with one hand in his pocket, and his other hand holding a lit cigarette. With that, he and Mr. Fraser walked into the principals office… and proceeded to rewrite the way my Junior High would treat incidences like this for the rest of time.

I vividly remember Fraser and I attempting to lose ourselves in the seat cushions of the couch we sat in, the gathering crowd of students and teachers in the hallway outside the office, and the poor secretaries who looked like they’d rather be anywhere but where they were, as my father proceeded to literally lift the roof of the school off with the level and fury of his voice. For 15 minutes all we could hear was my Father tearing a new asshole in the sides of the heads of the principal and the Priest, and the feeble attempts to defend themselves by saying they were looking out for my fathers son.

This only generated more derision, laughter, and general abuse from my father, at a volume that could easily be heard across the entire school.

After a few minutes and some, shall we say, muted conversation, the principal, and the Priest, came out of his office, and apologized to Fraser and informed him that he was reinstated in school, then looked at me and informed me I was suspended from school for three days, and the look on the principals face was one of embarrassment and contrition. The Priest had always been a bastard, but you could tell he was none to happy either.

The old man took it one step further by making the principal explain the reversal to the entire school, the why and what for. I have no idea to this day exactly what the old man said to that principal, but from that day forward my principal avoided me like I carried the plague.

I tell you this story to make a point.

We allowed our Government to pervert our traditional “welcome” attitude. We castrated our society with propaganda about how evil Western civilization has been, and how we had to provide opportunity for immigration because we had a responsibility to provide succor to displaced peoples, peoples whose homes were ravaged by war or famine, to do the right thing. To some extent that was definitely true, but on the other hand, are we to bear the burden of the follies of our fore-fathers to the detriment of society in the present sense.

I personally do not think so. We have a duty to avoid repeating the mistakes of the past, but we must never try to ignore that they occurred.

Not once did our Government in 30 years let people migrate here and become Canadian. Instead, under the banner of “multiculturalism” and the “Mosaic”, the Government let people in with no education about the country, no basic language skills, no sense of duty, or obligation, and no fundamental understanding that when you come to Canada, you leave your shit piles at the doorstep.

Hell, at one point, if you had a $150K, we’d sell you citizenship with no status criteria. Come on in, we don’t care if you’re a war criminal, a terrorist, or whatever, just come on in and join the party, but make sure you stand over in that corner, because you are distinct, you are special.

Not only did we cheat these various peoples of what the meaning of Canadian is, but we assisted them in the act of “self-segregation”, by funding cultural distinction, allowing them to enter the country with no language skills, which in turn forces an individual to congregate into communities where there was nothing but their own peoples, and hang-ups, just to survive.

All this, in the name of favors for votes. We wrap it up in the need to increase our population, because we don’t have enough children, but in the end, it was the votes, and the votes of the future babies, that counted.

The rest has just been sound bites for the media.

I miss the old Canada where we just didn’t give a shit where you came from, as long as you could appreciate a good winter, the maple leaf, the national anthem, didn’t piss on our flag, and generally contributed to the nation, you were okay with the rest of us until such a time as you proved otherwise.

Don’t misunderstand me, we have always as individuals and as a collective, had our prejudices in Canadian Society, but never have these prejudices manifested themselves into the dynamic that our vaunted “Mosaic” has allowed to propagate. We didn’t have individuals living in this section of the city or that section of the city out west. You just lived where you could afford to live.

There’s always been the French/English dynamic, the White/Indian dynamic, and who could ever forget the East/West dynamic, and yes in older cities you have your Italian section, or your Jewish section of a city, or the whatever section, but never such a pronounced segregation of population as we do now.

I personally believe Canada’s immigration policy has left both the nation and the people coming here a lot poorer in the last 30 years, and while I can’t stand Jason Kenny personally, I have to say “good on you” for bringing Canada first and foremost to the center of the immigration policy, and for enunciating the efforts of all Canadians, and our very proud history.

The concept of a Mosaic was to be a blessing, a union, a light in the night sky telling the world there was another path, and if we don’t correct it in the next few decades, it will become the disease that undoes our nation.

How many Canadians know that we are the only nation to successfully invade the US, and burn down the White House?

How many Canadians know who Laura Secord was?

How many Canadians know that Thomas Cook did more than just become a travelers cheque?

I asked a young employee of mine last Friday to explain to a new migrant from the UK about the Beothuk Indians on the east coast, as we do a lot of work with First Nations, and he wanted to know why there were no reserves in NewFoundLand. The employee looked at me like I was from Mars. “What’s a Beothuk?” he asks me… “A principle part of Canadian history you uneducated bum”, I replied. I learned about the Beothuks in grade school. What the hell do they teach children in school today? It sure isn’t about the history of the nation.

So many people have gone into the creation of this country and when you come to Canada, and want to live here, you need to know this, otherwise you can never know what we as Canadians truly cherish.

We fought in 1812 against the Americans, we fought in 1894 in the Boar War, again in 1914, and in 1938, only to face war again in Korea. We stood the line between Israel and Egypt when no other nations would, and marched the walls of Cyprus to keep the Greeks and Turks from each others throats. We screwed up in the 70’s and gave India nuclear power, and spent lives uselessly keeping the Serbs and Croats from doing something they had 1000 years of practice doing before we were even a location on a map. We built the longest bridge in the world, and share the longest undefended border. We have a rotating restaurant in every major city in the country, and most of them serve shitty food. We’ve exported Tim Horton’s and imported Tamil Tigers, and in many respects we are the most irresponsible nation on earth, in others we rank high in responsibility. We have the arrogance to think we are the beacon of social democratic light, yet we bless other nations with our incurable, deficit incurring health and housing programs, creating new dilemma’s that didn’t solve the old ones, all the while allowing our democratic process to slowly erode and fail.

Through it all, we simply seek to live, and we wish nothing more than others being able to do the same.

These are just a few of the many things that make us Canadian, and we should be shouting them to the world, and making sure that when someone gets off a boat or a plane, they learn the principle values of being Canadian, and they learn the inescapable truth of being Canadian, and that’s that we will die to keep our freedom, and we will die so that others keep their freedom.

Nothing else counts, if it isn’t through the freedom we hold, and the fundamental understanding that everyone bleeds red beneath the skin. Canada is a story of great hardship, perseverance, and ingenuity. We have overcome such amazing adversity, and quite frankly, a great deal of it brought on by our own stupidity.

The least we can do for a new immigrant is extolling the virtues of our nation, and the lessons we’ve learned, and why they need to throw away the old and embrace the new. No one will stop you from being who you are, or refuse your personal history, but as Canadians all of us must ask that you hold onto your identity in the context of embracing a new Canadian identity working in lockstep with your cultural one.

Otherwise the long term prospects for this nation are dim at best.

dispossessed : 2010-04-24#2
回复: ZT 原来枫叶国也有JOKE啊

笑死我了.

dispossessed : 2010-04-24#3
回复: ZT 原来枫叶国也有JOKE啊

李:20世纪60年代后,由于加拿大移民政策改用分数标准,而不是用地区和种族标准接纳移民,非欧洲裔移民增长很快,加拿大也逐渐由英法为主流民族的国家,变成多元民族国家。现在每年约有25万30万移民来加拿大,60%70%来自亚非地区,亚洲移民又多于非洲移民。过去评价移民主要是看他们对加拿大经济有什么贡献,移民政策也是据此制定的,这是一种很功利的标准。我提出,这是一种短视的利益关系,我们没有用长远眼光看待移民的价值。移民是一种投资,投资国家的未来。如同养一个孩子,不是看几年内有什么回报。衡量移民的贡献,也不能光看经济价值,还要看文化上的价值,如加拿大语言和文化多元化有助于它对世界的理解和联系。我写了一本书,书名是《定居加拿大:关于移民的争论与问题》(Destination Canada:Immigration Debates and Issues,2003),这本书不仅对政府的移民政策持一种强烈的批判态度,也批评了学术界看待移民的狭隘观点。不是移民在经济以外的领域没有贡献,而是由于我们没有统计这些贡献的方法和手段,这些贡献被忽视了,这是需要学界予以重视的。

我的第三个研究领域是社会学理论。20042005年,我担任加拿大社会学协会会长,有机会考虑加拿大社会学整体的研究状况。社会学内各个研究领域分工很细,对某个研究领域了解很细致,如对医疗保险、对教育,但这些研究很分散,缺乏一种对社会发展总的和深入的理解。我在《二战后加拿大的构成》(The Making of Post-War Canada,1996)一书中,从经济和科技的变化入手,将个人、家庭和社会的发展联系起来,婚姻家庭生活的变化、妇女参与社会工作、移民的融合、企业由分散走向集中、随着经济变迁而来的职业结构变化等,将人与社会的发展在整体上联系起来。

多元文化政策缺乏实质性

刘:在中国的加拿大研究中,多元文化政策是一个重点,学者们基本是赞成和欣赏这一政策的。您在研究中却经常批评这个政策,这是什么原因呢?

李:二战后加拿大比较强调个人权利,在这个基础上,华人才有争取平等的机会。这是民主社会发展的一部分,但这也是有局限性的。1971年加拿大推出多元文化政策,这一政策在世界上很受重视,因为这是西方国家中最早的有关文化平等的政策。但很多人并不清楚这一政策的背景和内容。最初,多元文化理论主要是针对60年代后期闹独立的魁北克省,意在强调加拿大不是英法人的加拿大,在英法民族以外,还存在着很多少数民族和多元文化,它们都需要被平等对待,以此压抑法裔对自己权利的过分要求。一些法裔怀疑政府在多元文化上的诚意,所以1969年政府宣布英、法语为官方语言,1971年正式宣布多元文化政策。
但这一政策只表示每个少数民族都有选择的自由,并没有实质性内容和特别的意义。因为在一个自由民主的社会,大家原本就有选择的自由。政府专设了多元文化机构,但最初也不知道该怎么做,只是以一种很零散的方式支持发展少数民族文化,如唱歌、跳舞、学中文,被我们称作“博物馆文化”,即一种保持过去的、表面的和死的文化。华人不需要政府支持学汉语,他们需要学英文,这样才好找工作;他们也不需要特别扶持,他们需要的是种族平等,消除就业歧视。
加拿大现在实施多元文化政策已几十年了,但不能说有多元文化的权利。法语在法律上作为官方语言是有语言权利的,但多元文化政策并没有落实在具体的权利上,还是比较虚和宏观的概念,政策上的实质很少。虽然我们有多元文化政策,但少数民族的语言并没有给少数民族带来好处。你会少数民族语言对工作和收入没有帮助,会英、法语才可能有高收入。劳动市场是一个大熔炉,你只有学官方语言才能维持生活,社会并没有支持少数民族语言的环境。个人权利很发达,但少数民族作为集体没有权利,而现实社会中,个人往往被视为群体的一员。这表明个人权利与集体权利是有关系的,甚至是矛盾的。所以,我一直沿着这些思路批评多元文化政策。

刘:加拿大对印第安人是有特殊优惠政策的,如他们可以免费上大学,但其他人是要交费的,这是不是一种集体权利呢?

李:印第安人是有一些集体权利,但我们讲的多元文化政策是不包括印第安人的。加拿大有三大种族矛盾,一是土著与英法为主的欧洲人的矛盾,英法裔自称建国民族,土著人不承认,认为自己是原住民、第一民族。加拿大政府为缓解这一矛盾,为改善和提高土著人的生活做了很多工作,但仍无法将这个民族纳入加拿大社会中。世界其他地方的一些土著人与后来移民也有这样的矛盾。二是英法裔之间的矛盾,法裔要求与英裔的平等权利甚至特权,否则就要独立。三是英法为代表的主流民族与其他移民少数民族的矛盾。多元文化主要针对后两种,特别是第三种矛盾。加拿大只有两种集体权利,法语的权利和印第安人的权利,多元文化所代表的移民少数民族争取平等的权利,还没有实质性的集体权利。

dispossessed : 2010-04-24#4
加拿大最大的社会问题:医疗服务太差

  加拿大既是现代工业国又是资源出口国,淡水出口美国,石油理论储藏量排世界第二。国家富得流油,高税收同时执行高福利。可在加拿大,政府开支的医疗服务差到被许多人称为“得了病就等死”的地步。

  一位朋友的孩子得了急病阑尾炎。在加拿大这个五百万人(约六分之一人口)没有家庭医生的国家,这位新移民朋友幸运地有家庭医生,对方初诊后让孩子去医院,然后认真地说:“你们到了医院后要等八个小时。”到今天,所有的知情者还在庆幸,孩子在八个小时的等待中居然没有穿孔。公平地讲,加拿大政府的医疗开支钱没全白花,安省执行真正的公费医疗,儿童病房一个大孩子一个小孩子一间,因病人少就一个孩子住一间,冰箱里装满了适合儿童吃的食品,随意取用,陪护家长可以睡在病房的长沙发上。整个手术、住院和饮食没向病人要一分钱,全是医院直接和政府结帐了事。可这一切的前题是:你在哪疼上八个小时。

  不要搞错,所有的急诊,除非病人随时要咽气,都得登记后排上六到八小时。如果不是急诊手术,那么有个词叫“轮候”,轮上几星期正常。其余更热闹的事还不少,医疗协会的人给移民医生讲课,谈到“在加拿大到医院去看病,病人对医生一次只能说一种病症,说多了医生不听的,下次看病再来。”移民医生来自五洲四洋,多数技术移民,不说个个身怀绝技也是见多识广,当时全傻了:“这世界上还有这么看病的!”回国看病,差不多成了华人移民中的习惯。

  医疗服务如此差,一个根本原因是医生严重缺员,当然,这种人力资源的缺口在地广人稀的加拿大是普遍的。每年还有大约200名至250名加国医生外流至美国??美国并没有积极招聘加拿大医生,否则问题会更严重。权威人士拿出研究报告中指出,人口老化、医生年龄偏大,以及年轻一代医生不愿超时工作等因素也加剧了医生短缺的现象。另一方面,加拿大医生的收入之高令人咋舌,家庭医生年薪近二十万,专科医生还会挣得更多。有时真让人怀疑,医生严重缺员、医疗服务差和医生高收入,是不是有互为因果的关系?

  黄金职业缺人,相当不好让人理解。一个医学院毕业生,念下来至少四年,三科考牌全通过最快也要两年,当住院医至少要四年,这种严格管理不能说错,移民到加拿大的医生也要通过这一系列门槛,就阻止了通过移民补充资源的道路。促成对移民医生排斥,是1991年一个卫生部代表大会上的报告。报告中预测,大量移民的进入将会带来医疗人才过剩,造成本国医护人员就业压力,同时过剩的医疗人员也会带来经济的负担。因此在这次会议之后,各方努力促成了限制规定的出台。不可否认的是,通过并支持这个政策的人,正是那些“本国医护人员”。近来联邦和省政府正在改变政策,例如投资协助移民医生学习语言和备考,把省每年实习名额从六十提到二百,允许外来医生进入救护人员、化验、护理和偏远地区医院等“宏观医疗行业”,部分移民医生已经从这些计划中获益。可惜本质未改,过五关斩六将的时间不变。一个新移民,拿出三年时间全力以赴地考牌,考下来注定不能马上执业,如果出现各种主客观变化吃亏的都是自己,开玩笑了。

  中国来的人,看着那些享受行业保护、从国库而不是从市场拿钱的医生,很容易想起二十年前公费医疗背景下的中国医院。除了硬件设备是真好以外,看病难、服务差,实在太像当年的中国了。执业医生在行业保护下绝对不愁失业和收入没保障,这边看病难,那边安省的医疗开支已经由十几年前占政府支出的三分之一上升到了一半。老百姓缴了税,享受名义上的医疗福利却看不好病。加拿大的医疗市场是真正的“社会主义大锅饭”??症结是不是在此?

dispossessed : 2010-04-24#5
回复: ZT 原来枫叶国也有JOKE啊

这里有许多JOKE, 是关于加拿大医疗系统的.

Canadian Healthcare Jokes:.

What do you call a man who ignores his doctors' advice? The Minister of Health.

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An American, a Scot and a Canadian were in a terrible car accident. The RCMP brought then to the provincial emergency ward, but all three of them died before they could be seen by the doctor. Just as they were about to put the toe tag on the body of the American, he opened his eyes and sat up. Astonished, the doctor asked him what happened.
"Well, " said the American, "I remember the crash, and then there was a beautiful white light. Suddenly the Canadian and the Scot and I were standing at the gates of heaven. St. Peter looked us over and said that we were too young to die. He decided that for a donation of $50 each, we could return to the earth. Of course I pulled out my wallet and gave him the $50, and the next thing I knew I was back here."

"That's amazing!" said one of the doctors, "But what happened to the other two?"

"Last I saw them," replied the American, "the Scot was haggling over the price and the Canadian was waiting for the National Health Service to pay for his."

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A man from British Columbia went to his doctor and said that he wanted to become a Newfie. The doctor replied, "If I remove a quarter of your brain you will become a Newfie. I'll call you when the surgery is scheduled."

Three years later, when he got to the top of the waiting list for his surgery, the man went in and got the operation.
When he woke up, the doctor looked apologetic, "I'm afraid my knife slipped during the surgery. Instead of taking out one quarter of your brain, I accidentally took out three quarters. Do you feel all right? "

The man replied, "Comme ci, comme a."

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Canadian [ku'neydeeun] definition: A disarmed American with free health care

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Canadians have universal healthcare. How do they afford it when their neighbor to the south is too poor to do so?
  1. Healthcare Rationing: They make people wait so long that most die before seeing a doctor.
  2. Cultural factors: It is cheaper to treat a frostbitten nose than to treat a gunshot wound to the abdomen.
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Everyone should have a spouse, because there are a number of things that could go wrong that one might not be able to blame on the National Health Service.


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A Provincial Health Ministry Official sits in his office twiddling his thumbs. After he gets tired of doing that, he decides to see what's in his old filing cabinet. He pokes through the contents and comes across an old brass lamp. "This will look nice on my mantelpiece," he decides, and takes it home with him. While polishing the lamp, a genie appears and grants him three wishes. "I wish for an ice cold Molson right now!" He gets his drink and sips it. Now that he can think more clearly, he states his second wish.

"I wish to be on a tropical island where beautiful women indulge my every whim." Suddenly he is on a beach under a palm tree surrounded by gorgeous women. He tells the genie his third and last wish: "I wish I'd never have to work ever again."…

… POOF! He's back in his office at the provincial health ministry...
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Fascination : 2010-04-24#6
回复: ZT 原来枫叶国也有JOKE啊

DING你的贴不是因为不喜欢加拿大
不想多说什么了