A fellow was speeding down a country road late at night and BANG! went a tire. He got out and looked and drat it he had no jack. Then he said to himself. “Well, I’ll just walk to the nearest farmhouse and borrow a jack!” He saw a light in the distance and said, “Well, I’m in luck; the farmer’s up. I’ll just knock on the door and say I’m in trouble, would you please lend me a jack? And he’ll say, why sure, neighbor, help yourself – but bring it back.”
He walked on a little farther and the light went out, so he said to himself, “Now he’s gone to bed and he’ll be annoyed because I’m bothering him- so he’ll probably want some money for his jack. And I’ll say, all right, it isn’t very neighborly – but I’ll give you a quarter. And he’ll say, do you think you can get me out of bed in the middle of the night and then offer me a quarter? Give me a dollar or get yourself a jack somewhere else.”
By that time the fellow had worked himself into a lather. He turned into the gate and muttered. “A dollar! All right, I’ll give you a dollar. But not a cent more! A poor devil has an accident and all he needs is a jack. You probably won’t let me have one no matter what I give you. That’s the kind of guy you are.”
Which brought him to the door and he knocked – angrily, loudly. The farmer stuck his head out the window above the door and hollered down, “Who’s there? What do you want?” The fellow stopped pounding on the door and yelled up, “You and your damn jack! You know what you can do with it!”