【盖楼大赛】说说你印象深刻的网友 重要更新 395楼 艾米丽娃娃好文

很安静啊,
看了一篇文章, 挺好的,

How to Criticize with Kindness
“Just how charitable are you supposed to be when criticizing the views of an opponent?”

我一边贴, 一边说说感想,
“In disputes upon moral or scientific points,” Arthur Martine counseled in his magnificent 1866 guide to the art of conversation, “let your aim be to come at truth, not to conquer your opponent. So you never shall be at a loss in losing the argument, and gaining a new discovery.” Of course, this isn’t what happens most of the time when we argue, both online and off, but especially when we deploy the artillery of our righteousness from behind the comfortable shield of the keyboard. That form of “criticism” — which is really a menace of reacting rather than responding — is worthy of Mark Twain’s memorable remark that “the critic’s symbol should be the tumble-bug: he deposits his egg in somebody else’s dung, otherwise he could not hatch it.” But it needn’t be this way — there are ways to be critical while remaining charitable, of aiming not to “conquer” but to “come at truth,” not to be right at all costs but to understand and advance the collective understanding.

精彩点是马克吐温说, 批评家如同屎壳郎, 非得把蛋下到别人的粪球上, 不然, 就没有存在感
 
Daniel Dennett (b. March 28, 1942), Dennett synthesizes the steps:
How to compose a successful critical commentary:
  1. You should attempt to re-express your target’s position so clearly, vividly, and fairly that your target says, “Thanks, I wish I’d thought of putting it that way.
  2. You should list any points of agreement (especially if they are not matters of general or widespread agreement).
  3. You should mention anything you have learned from your target.
  4. Only then are you permitted to say so much as a word of rebuttal or criticism.
1, 清晰, 明确, 公平的陈列对方观点, 评判标准是: 对方认可
2, 陈列所有你认可的地方, 尤其是那些还不被公认的观点,
3, 指出对方任何值得你学习的东西

4, 只有在你做到这三点的时候, 你才有资格说点坏话
 


这是谁家的女儿啊, 挺年轻漂亮的
 
How to Listen to Someone Who’s Angry
“I love angry people,” Brambleby tells me. “They’re much easier to work with. Over the last few years, I’ve realised that people who seem angry and aggressive are probably feeling frightened, frustrated and powerless. I’m only 4ft 9in, and when I’ve got a big shouty man in front of me, I find it hugely helpful to remember that at the root of his behaviour is fear.” Her advice is to let that person be angry. If it’s in the workplace, you may need to move to a private room, but don’t try to restrain them. “Give them time. Eventually – sometimes it’s seconds, sometimes minutes, but rarely longer – they will have said what they need to, to get that raw emotion out. It takes courage to do that, because we are frightened by strong emotions. But in my experience, it is the only effective way to deal with anger.” When the tirade is over, you can ask questions to clarify what it is that has angered them.
 

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