Simcoe Lake蹭舟记

jjsheng

恢复矿工啦。
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已经不是第一次蹭朋友的船了,但这次天气最理想, 天不阴不冷, 风平浪静。
以前计划好的泛舟, 由于天气因素, 临时取消也是有过的。
前一天晚上朋友来电, 说明天去Simcoe Lake泛舟, 邀我加入。疫情期间闷在家里很久了, 我爽快地答应了。以前都是我买西瓜三明治去蹭TA们的船, 于是在电话里说: 我明天买些吃的带上。
"XXX说准备吃喝, 你来就行了。" 听了船主的话, 很是高兴,疫情特殊时期能不进超市尽量不去, 心想这次我刷卡交入园费就是了。
第二天到了入口处,我和船主都争着刷卡, 收费站人员给我们打了张单据告知今天免费入园。"Why?"到了嘴边又咽了回去,我心里担心一问Why, 可能免费就飞了......
这次蹭舟, 蹭的是TA家新买的豪华游船, 体积大, 速度可达每小时60英里。
以前的小船, 最快能达每小时48英里

朋友夫妻是本地出生的二代意大利移民, 家里世世代代养船,男主说, 他记忆里家里有船是不变的, 变化的是不同的船。从小玩船, 他会经常看着几个人笨手笨脚推船下水挂船出水, 总是带着一脸不屑地说: 我一个人几个来回都搞掂了, 还用几个人?!
TA家的船尾有个sticker, FUN GOO, 意大利文, 意思是FUCK OFF.

那浩渺的湖水, 在烟波里看不到尽头。 清风徐来, 水光潋滟, 湖水漫起一圈圈螺纹。为了照顾我, 先来到浅水区, 一米左右, 我只会蛙泳, 看我玩够了, 就重新起航进入深水区。虽然没风, 但最快每小时60迈, 我用手一直紧紧压着的草帽还是有两次差点刮飞, 有风的天气, 根本就不能带帽子。这新船本来是有个遮阳棚的, 上次男主和女儿泛舟, 由于风大, 棚被刮飞了,他开船去追,但棚是塑料乙烯的, 有些重, 落入湖底了。今天没风, 船主想把船棚找回来, 但未果。
来到深水区, 大约20米深吧, TA们开始了扎猛子, 一会儿自由泳, 一会儿仰泳, 不断地变着花样, 让我很羡慕。

等TA们也玩累了, 我们又返回浅水区。
几个来回的高速行驶, 船体震荡, 我两手紧紧抓住船边, 身体随着船身颠簸, 比人工按摩身体劲大, 对伏案工作的人是种非常好的休闲。

大家坐在浅水区聊天, 我和女主因为身材矮小, 就跪着。因为这次蹭船没有凑一点份子, 我就尽力让TA们开心, 给TA们讲了两个笑话, 一个是二儿他爸钓鱼, 另一个是关手电筒闸门。
湖中小鱼非常多, 有的小鱼啃了我的小脚趾还要啃啃我的大脚趾。

我采了一把湖中的这种植物回来, 不知道晒干了能不能用来包粽子?


渐渐远去的彼岸, 留下了一天美好的时光。

主人家烤箱出了故障, 于是订了三个大号披萨。

第一次帮主人把船放回到原处。工作量不小, 很多细节, 不一一详诉, 但从朋友处深深体会到养船除了喜欢, 还要拥有时间精力和金钱。
尽是高大上的朋友呀。
 
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“给TA们讲了两个笑话, 一个是二儿他爸钓鱼, 另一个是关手电筒闸门。“

想听听小苏给老外讲的英文版相声
我讲个二儿他爸钓鱼吧。


There is a guy, whose son's name is Er.
Then people all call him Er's dad.
One day, Er's mom talked to her husband:
You see, Er's dad, our neighbors go to fishing. They have fresh fishes to cook.
The fishes 're so delicious only from smelling.
Er's dad realised his wife's admiration obviously. Then he said with very strong confidence: that is very easy. You should have told me this early. I will go to fishing tomorrow. You make a sweet pie for me. I will catch a hundred fishes for you with my eyes closed.

He left in the early morning and came back in the afternoon. Unfortunately, he didn't get any fish at all.

His wife asked him as soon as he opened the door: Er's dad, how's everything going? Got some fishes?
"Got what?! Never mind. I got there too late. When I made everything be ready and had a look, OMG, today's fishes gethering was already gone.

In order to make things right, I got further information There will be another fishes gathering tomorrow. I will catch it for you tomorrow then.
He was heading for bed and leaving everything for next day.

Next early morning, Er's dad asked his wife to make two sweet pies for him. He planned to fish for longer time.

Same time left , same time was back, and nothing in his hands again as same as yesterday.

When his wife asked where was the fishes, he said: never mind. I didn't catch today's fishes gathering again.
When I made everything ready for fishing, some kids jumped into for swimming. OMG, fishes gathering all disappeared. I' m so anxious that I made an inquiry. Wow, there will be other gathering tomorrow. I would kill myself and throw my body in the river if I could get fishes home.

At this moment, an old woman who lives at their next door heard what he said. She tried to consoled him and said: Calm down. Don't be so silly. Fishing needs a lot of patient. You just like talking. It is not easy to do things well.

Er's dad was mad of this old woman.
"What are you talking about? You mean other neighbor can fish well, but I can not. Only concerning your words, I will go again. I will show you how well I will be. I wouldn't live here anymore if I couldn't get fishes home. I will move out if you are right.
All well, anything else, Er's mom, will you make three sweet pies for me?"

His wife thought about when she was cooking, WOW, Er's dad, you are so ridiculous, you are getting to eat more and more without getting any fishes home at all.

Next day, he left . He didn't go for fishing. But he went to fishing market with his fishing pole. People looked at him curiously. After bargaining furiously , he bought 4 pounds fishes and with two ones free.

From far away his door, he started shouting loudly: hahaha.....I managed to catch this fishes gathering.
Lots of neighbors came out to have a look, including the next door old woman.

"Er's mom, take out our biggest basin out quick. OMG, finally I caught this fishes gathering." He ordered.
Put wooden basin in the yard. Pour water inside. Drop the fishes in it.

Adorably, the fishes were all alive in the water.

After having a look, the old woman started to wonder: Er's dad, why are the fishes all same size?
Of course, he answered. The fishes of this gathering are all same size. I am really skillful and especially catch this gathering because of the same size.
Haven't I already told you I could catch a hundred fishes with my eyes closed?!

Old woman didn't believe him and asked "didn't you buy them?"

Hearing this, he was angry immediately and argued : eh, grandma, we are neighbors for many years. Big shame on you when you said this . I am worrying about you would sick and with half body moving improperly.


Er's mom tried to smooth things over
Then she said: Don't listen to her. She should not say that. I trust you to get them for fishing by yourself. I guess you caught more than 2 pounds fishes.

He was not happy with this and spoke loudly, what?! More than two pounds?! They are 4 pounds. You can make sure to ask the fish vender. By the day, I got two extra for free.
 
最后编辑: 2020-07-20
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已经不是第一次蹭朋友的船了,但这次天气最理想, 天不阴不冷, 风平浪静。
以前计划好的泛舟, 由于天气因素, 临时取消也是有过的。
前一天晚上朋友来电, 说明天去Simcoe Lake泛舟, 邀我加入。疫情期间闷在家里很久了, 我爽快地答应了。以前都是我买西瓜三明治去蹭TA们的船, 于是在电话里说: 我明天买些吃的带上。
"XXX说准备吃喝, 你来就行了。" 听了船主的话, 很是高兴,疫情特殊时期能不进超市尽量不去, 心想这次我刷卡交入园费就是了。
第二天到了入口处,我和船主都争着刷卡, 收费站人员给我们打了张单据告知今天免费入园。"Why?"到了嘴边又咽了回去,我心里担心一问Why, 可能免费就飞了......
这次蹭舟, 蹭的是TA家新买的豪华游船, 体积大, 速度可达每小时60英里。
以前的小船, 最快能达每小时48英里

朋友夫妻是本地出生的二代意大利移民, 家里世世代代养船,男主说, 他记忆里家里有船是不变的, 变化的是不同的船。从小玩船, 他会经常看着几个人笨手笨脚推船下水挂船出水, 总是带着一脸不屑地说: 我一个人几个来回都搞掂了, 还用几个人?!
TA家的船尾有个sticker, FUN GOO, 意大利文, 意思是FUCK OFF.

那浩渺的湖水, 在烟波里看不到尽头。 清风徐来, 水光潋滟, 湖水漫起一圈圈螺纹。为了照顾我, 先来到浅水区, 一米左右, 我只会蛙泳, 看我玩够了, 就重新起航进入深水区。虽然没风, 但最快每小时60迈, 我用手一直紧紧压着的草帽还是有两次差点刮飞, 有风的天气, 根本就不能带帽子。这新船本来是有个遮阳棚的, 上次男主和女儿泛舟, 由于风大, 棚被刮飞了,他开船去追,但棚是塑料乙烯的, 有些重, 落入湖底了。今天没风, 船主想把船棚找回来, 但未果。
来到深水区, 大约20米深吧, TA们开始了扎猛子, 一会儿自由泳, 一会儿仰泳, 不断地变着花样, 让我很羡慕。

等TA们也玩累了, 我们又返回浅水区。
几个来回的高速行驶, 船体震荡, 我两手紧紧抓住船边, 身体随着船身颠簸, 比人工按摩身体劲大, 对伏案工作的人是种非常好的休闲。

大家坐在浅水区聊天, 我和女主因为身材矮小, 就跪着。因为这次蹭船没有凑一点份子, 我就尽力让TA们开心, 给TA们讲了两个笑话, 一个是二儿他爸钓鱼, 另一个是关手电筒闸门。
湖中小鱼非常多, 有的小鱼啃了我的小脚趾还要啃啃我的大脚趾。

我采了一把湖中的这种植物回来, 不知道晒干了能不能用来包粽子?


渐渐远去的彼岸, 留下了一天美好的时光。

主人家烤箱出了故障, 于是订了三个大号披萨。

第一次帮主人把船放回到原处。工作量不小, 很多细节, 不一一详诉, 但从朋友处深深体会到养船除了喜欢, 还要拥有时间精力和金钱。
想忍着不点赞也是件苦差事,还是随心所欲算了。赞苏美眉有魅力,能蹭着船 :wdb1: :wdb17:
 

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