斯坦福 IT

人在职场:三大“技能”

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吹牛,撕逼,甩锅。

这三大“技能”其实不是啥好东西,但职场如江湖,人在江湖身不由己,咱不去害人,但也得防人。

一. 吹牛

职场靠的是实力,需要吹牛吗?是,也不是。

如果应聘厨师,你吹嘘自己厨艺有多高都没用,人家不跟你废话,直接要你上锅台,做给我看看先。

但很多时候不是这么简单,会说话还是很重要的。归纳起来,要善于推销自己,善于汇报工作,善于讲话。

华人通常比较内敛保守,不太善于表现自己,这在职场上是很吃亏的,尤其是写简历和面试,这些地方需要适当的发挥发挥。简历吸睛,面试自信,成功机会就多些。

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当然吹大了也不行,别像有些三哥,简历写得非常漂亮,面试一问啥也不懂。

汇报工作时,不要只是简单罗列,要把工作重点和伟大意义highlight出来,有时还要玩点花样。有次一个小领导做Slideshow,其中一个地方用了个动态显示,效果生动,观众哇一声,纷纷要求他重演一下。

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讲话,开会发言,要讲究虚实结合。实质内容当然必须有,而且肯定占主要份量。虚的,就是泛泛而谈、说了差不多等于没说的东西。在谈到发展前景未来计划时,真的要加点虚的,侃侃大山。怎么加?这个要多听多揣摩,或者 Talk like Trump,向他学习。当然实际怎么说,还得根据身份、场合而定。

二. 撕逼

工作中,矛盾冲突不可避免,不喜欢惹事,不代表事情不来找你,尤其是大公司,山头林立,冷不防有炸弹扔过来。

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当然,如果你事情没做好,别人指出来,这个时候要做的不是撕逼,而是有所担当并解决问题。

但是,你认真做事,莫名其妙被撕了,那就要反击。

撕逼要讲究方式,一定不能像战狼。面对面或打电话,与对方吵两句有时在所难免,但邮件里、通讯工具中,不能情绪化,不要留下书面上的把柄。准备好材料,包括截图,就事论事,内容一条一条进行澄清,对对方的无端指责,坚定回击不退让,但语言上要得体,让人看清对方是找茬的。邮件抄送双方老板。

三. 甩锅

甩锅绝对是坏行为,无耻的行为。

某族裔很抱团,一个人当上小老板,手下招的基本都是自己人,如果你见到里面夹杂一两个华人,据说那是用来在出事时背锅的。这怎么防啊?
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Good leaders spend a fair amount of time refining their communication style. After all, good communication skills are not only among the most in-demand soft skills; they’re also essential for fostering strong relationships with team members, being a more effective negotiator, and being able to motivate people.


So, the words you use matter. And simple verbal habits or tics can actually get in the way of clear communication. But some of the things we say can improve how we are perceived as well. Saying “sorry” too much and for the wrong reasons might undermine how confident you appear. Shifting your response from “sorry for the delay” to “thanks for your patience” strikes a more positive tone, too.
Another example that we’ve covered before at Fast Company is the word “but,” which can seem like you’re negating the point of the person with whom you’re speaking. Instead, try substituting “and,” which invites further conversation.
What other communication swaps can you make to be a more powerful communicator? Here, three communication experts weigh in with their recommendations for language swaps. They may not work in every situation. But, when used appropriately, they can help shift your communication to be more powerful.

Here’s what I can do for you​

“Rather than saying ‘I can’t’ or ‘I’m not able to,’ when you’re declining a request, focus on the positive,” says communication expert Renée Evenson, author of Powerful Phrases for Effective Customer Service. Instead try, “Here’s what I can do for you.” That way, you’ve set a boundary with your client or colleague about what you’re not able or willing to do, but you’ve also indicated that you’re willing to find a workable solution.

ADVERTISING

I’ll find out​

When you don’t know something, it’s usually a good idea to say so instead of bluffing. However, if you’re in a leadership position or dealing with customers, the people asking are going to want more than that from you. Instead of just shrugging off the inquiry, say “I’ll find out for you,” Evenson suggests. “This gives [the person asking] an assurance that you care enough to go one step further to get the right answer,” she says.

Can you . . .​

It’s not uncommon to preface a favor request with “I know how busy you are . . .” or “I hate to bother you . . .” But that immediately puts you at a disadvantage because you’ve assumed that you’re creating a burden. Instead, assume there is not a problem and drop this from your language, Larsen says. Just ask for what you need and assume that the person will let you know if the request is too much and respectfully decline.

Let’s solve this​

In a world filled with vague, wishy-washy words, “address” is one that public speaking coach Joel Schwartzberg would like to see dropped. “I see a lot of speakers say, we’re going to address this issue. What does that mean? That means they can write about it, talk about it, have dialogue, right? But that doesn’t specifically mean you’re going to solve that problem or take action,” says the author of Get to the Point: Sharpen Your Ideas and Make Your Words Matter. Instead of saying, “We’re going to address this situation . . . ” try words like solve, fight against, or reduce, which communicate action. Other swaps to consider that are more meaningful and decisive:
  • Instead of “allowed,” try enabled or authorized
  • Instead of “meeting” a goal or expectation, try accomplishing or exceeding
  • Instead of “reacting to” a situation, try responding or solving

I’m glad you like it​

For some people, dismissing praise is a knee-jerk response. If they receive a compliment, they water it down by saying, “It was nothing . . .” or “It could be better . . .” Those responses not only make light of your work and ability, but they are dismissive of the person giving the compliment. Instead, thank the individual genuinely and add, “I’m glad you like it,” Larsen says.

I want to help​

Telling someone to calm down is almost a guarantee that they will do anything but calm down. Larsen recommends validating the individual’s feelings and assuring them you understand. “I can see you are upset, and I want to help” is a better option.

I’m happy I was able to help​

There’s nothing wrong with saying “you’re welcome” when someone thanks you. But saying something like “I’m happy I was able to help you” is more powerful because it leaves a positive impression with the individual that you went the extra mile to help, Evenson says.

While simple shifts in language won’t solve all communication issues, being more precise and action-oriented in your language can make a difference in clarity and how you’re perceived.
 

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