树洞:这样的老公是否可以及时止损了?

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好长。
我个人觉得离不离婚的基本是
1你觉得和他过着心累不累? (和他分开了,你觉得呼吸都痛快了,回家看不见他心里也不堵了。)
2婚姻的保持对孩子的成长是否有利?

如果答案是累和没利。可以离婚了。

幸福和钱的多少不成正比。
男人不赚钱也不是大问题,也有可能他八字旺妻。
他愿意做全职爸爸,把家料理好安排好孩子的活动陪伴孩子也不错。
如果他之前没做到,现在开始做也不晚。

女方也可以用心发展事业。
 
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好长。
我个人觉得离不离婚的基本是
1你觉得和他过着心累不累?
2婚姻的保持对孩子的成长是否有利?

如果答案是累和没利。可以离婚了。

幸福和钱的多少不成正比。
男人不赚钱也不是大问题,也有可能他八字旺妻。愿意做全职爸爸,把家料理好安排好孩子的活动陪伴孩子也不错。
如果他之前没做到,现在开始做也不晚。

女方也可以用心发展事业。
幸福和钱的多少不成正比。
男人不赚钱也不是大问题,也有可能他八字旺妻。愿意做全职爸爸,把家料理好安排好孩子的活动陪伴孩子也不错。
上面说得太对了。

但下面的"如果他之前没做到,现在开始做也不晚。"还是算了,想改变别人,呵呵
 
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人物:80后夫妻两 女的国内事业型,男的空有一副皮囊的软饭男。
地点:来加拿大三年了还没申请PR,确切来说还没动手第一步
大概情况:结婚十余年,家庭购置房产,车子以及国际旅游都是老婆出钱,经济独立并且独揽家庭负担,软饭男国内工作不稳定,这里干三个月那里干几个月,十几年混日子一样没一个稳定工作,除了在他爹那个亏本工厂干的长一点外,经济基本上是月光族自给自足,有时候经常借老婆钱还信用卡周转。老婆账目明确家庭支出毫不计较,但对于私人开销不会倒贴给软饭男(比如他想要个好电脑玩游戏,我不会送,因为他需要自己努力得到)。目前生活在加拿大,老婆出钱给他镀金读书,2年专业,除去投资首付房产跟车子,三年花费了60万(其中1年他单独在国外,2年跟家人一起)。现在他工作,一切开支都是他维持,婚姻问题来了,以下情况太长了,没办法我也不知道跟谁去说,喜欢看的人就当个消磨时间吧,我只是吐槽我想说的。
你找到的是精神变态,反社会人格中的拔尖的。这个基本上基因遗传,你治不好的。除了离婚,你无法过上正常的人生,如果你不离婚,你折寿,他活得好好的,最终你是人财两空。你早死,财归他。没有别的结果了。遇到这种人,除了认输离场,没有别的更好的方法。任何犹豫,仅仅是伤害自己。别问我咋知道这一些,血淋淋的切身经历。
 
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这种人没有良知,责任和同情心。






 
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幸福和钱的多少不成正比。
男人不赚钱也不是大问题,也有可能他八字旺妻。愿意做全职爸爸,把家料理好安排好孩子的活动陪伴孩子也不错。
上面说得太对了。

但下面的"如果他之前没做到,现在开始做也不晚。"还是算了,想改变别人,呵呵
看楼主写的,他老公根本不愿多花时间陪孩子,肯定没做到。

反正离婚也需要时间准备,就给他这些时间看他能不能安排孩子陪伴孩子。
鉴于他现在工作,家务也可以一起分担。

做到终止离婚。
做不到就尽快离,也别查谁出轨了,也别说还爱不爱了。
 
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婚姻仅仅是一个人生选择,一个错误的人生选择,不代表你的人生全错了,你的人生全输了。知错就改,迷途知返,恢复正常的人生。

精神变态,和配偶和子女都不可能建立亲密的情感关系,更不要谈责任的。配偶和子女仅仅是他眼中的物品和工具。他们只有自己的利益和表演。



以上是西方正经的专业研究。

精神变态就是吸血鬼和衣冠禽兽。你要想有正常的人生,除了离开这种关系,别无选择。

这是结尾

读读上面的这句话
 
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Short answer is no. I have a few children. Although I tell them and their mother I love them, I am not capable of those feelings. I was raised by a narcissist and a psychopath (one of each). I had no interest in another human unless I needed something from them. I learned young how to control my narcissistic mother and got anything I wanted from her. My father was more difficult to control until I relieved him of his Alpha status. At that point was when I met my wife. I was currently flying high on becoming the family “Alpha” and felt pleased with the fact that he was a shell of the man he was previously. That was when I saw her for the first time. It gave me a sense of excitement just to look at her after that. She and I dated and I decided I wanted her to be mine. I decided I did not want to be my parents, so I confessed all of my sins to my wife, if she ran away, she ran away. She was shocked and confused about our scenario. She decided to stay with me and teach me to hide a little bit better. Until that point I learned how to portray emotions from tv and books so my emotional reaction was over the top acting. Skip ahead and we have our first child. She was handed to me and I felt a fierce desire to protect this innocent being, and what I can only assume is fear of failing to do so. My experience is different to most because my father never hid his ASPD which led to severe beatings as a child who failed to make him look amazing. I swore no one would do that to me after that, and I would never do that to another. I give my children everything they need to succeed, and only have three rules in my house…

1) Do not ever lie to me.

2) Do not ever strike your mother.

3) Do not let your emotions control you.

As anyone on the ASPD spectrum will know, lying is the biggest offense you can commit against us. Shocking I know, because we “always” tell the truth. Hitting their mother is because there was a likely hood I would breed psychopaths and I do not want to push them into sociopathy. The emotions rule stems from the fact that anger is our strongest emotion and the only one that can definitively give a psychopath away. They are raised to never be a victim and given every tool to be successful. Though I don’t “love” them as “normies” love, they won’t know that until they realize what they are. I have two I know are like me and one that I am pretty concerned about. They will be taught how to hide and control their gifts, as well as how to spot others like them and how to destroy them. No better rush than bullying the bully. (Making a Beta, pretending to be Alpha, cower is amazing and something I look to achieve everywhere I go, even Walmart. I attack abusers and narcissists with a vengeance because it satisfies me, not because I care about the victims.)

Incase any of you are curious, my relationship with my wife works because I do not mask myself with her, and I do not lie to her. She knows all my “evil” and has even called upon it at times. She also trains me on emotions and corrects my “feelings” when I misrepresent what i should be feeling. She is my partner and I know her loyalty is great. If she betrayed me she would be removed from my life in an instant. That is the only till that she must follow to stay in my life. Loyalty and honesty above all else. I do not mean infidelity either, unless it was with someone I view as an enemy. Otherwise I do not care about that kind of stuff, as long as she is honest about it. I have become very good at blending in, therefore I must answer anonymously so I can keep up my ruse.
 
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No, I do not "love" my children... but they certainly believe that I do. I view my children as possessions. This is going to "sound awful," but I view them as pets/dolls of sorts. They are mine to train, teach, and mold.

1. I told them what to do, and they did it. Period.
2. I answered their questions, but they knew to ask them in private (not in public). I generally did not lie when answering these questions...
--- (ie: They ask, "Where do babies come from?" I have the sex talk with them [my daughter was 5 when she first asked this and my son was 8 the first time he asked]. However, if they were to ask, "Mum, do you love us?" I would of course, say something along the lines of, "With all my heart!" because I recognized that they have feelings and I do not and I want my "pets" to be happy and content. I have no wish to do them emotional harm.)
3. They were never permitted to believe in Santa, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy, or any other such nonsense.
4. They began learning meditation and yoga when they were very young. (daughter, age 2; son, age 3).
5. People that interacted with my (young) children were not permitted to use sarcasm when communicating with them or "joke" with them. Young children do not understand sarcasm and "joking around." I allowed them to learn it with their peers at school (which was about 5th/6th grade).
6. My children were taught about all different kinds of religion and they were permitted to choose whichever one they felt suited them best.
--- (My daughter chose Wicca and my son is "spiritual").

My children are well-behaved, graduated with honors (both high school and college), and have successful, blooming careers in their prospective fields. They understand how to play the game without being over-shadowed and consumed by the game. They were trained to be wolves, not sheep.

Although I am proud that they are mine and I approve of them, I do not love them.
 
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In addition, we have explored other scientific characteristics found in psychopathy which enhance the probability of successful social predation, whether overtly violent or not. These include both victim selection as well as social mimicry. Although it is reassuring to view psychopathy as a deficiency, and perhaps a psychopathology that one day will be treatable, there is virtually no evidence to date that it is a disorder for which there is a fix (Meloy and Yakeley 2014), and no positive outcome data concerning treatment of severely psychopathic individuals utilizing randomized controlled trials. It may be instead that psychopathy is a genotype within our species, which is phenotypically expressed to different degrees depending on culture, and confers a genetic advantage. It thus survives, although a survival that is characterized by the mark of Cain, and will continue to do so throughout history. A more clear-eyed view of its adaptive characteristics, especially in the context of predation, may keep others safe.
 
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在西方文化里,Cain意味着什么?

https://baike.baidu.com/item/该隐/625

精神变态的生存方式有2种—-寄生吸血者,掠食者。两种方式,他们是同时进行的。具体而言,他们占你的便宜,还伤害你。良知和责任是人类进化的结果。精神变态是人形动物,他们大脑结构不同于普通人,没有良知、责任心和同情心这一些脑电反应。

他们的伴侣,非常容易因为精神疾病、心血管疾病和癌症,过早离世。你活不过他的。而且他们还非常算计。就是离婚,他们也有本事拿到想要的,让对方遍体鳞伤。你要做的,就是冷静冷静冷静再冷静。
 

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