帮我改改一段作文吧，求救

[sabre]

回复: 帮我改改一段作文吧，求救

Haha, Aohua has been definitely trained at a local high school.

Thesis is imperative at the first paragraph.

你怎么好长时间不出来了，

你这个句子别扭，
it is imperative to have a strong openning,
or, to make a nice thesis, it is imerative,

 

[排骨饭]

回复: 帮我改改一段作文吧，求救

觉得I think比较口语化,我会用 In my opinion. 我觉得personally整个句子有点过长..
如果用了I think之后may是否可以省略? 既然陈述的是总观点就不宜过分不肯定的语气.立场.

其次段末应该稍微收尾而且和下一段有点联系.

句子尽量简洁.应付考试是为高分,不需要搞得好像很多东西要表达,别当还是中文的时候那样洋洋洒洒说出十万个为什么.

如果可以按着写好的英文直接看成中文的,基本西人就是看不明的了.

随便瞎说,别拍

 

[传国玉玺]

回复: 帮我改改一段作文吧，求救

insist, suggest, recommend...等动词后面从句中的“should"要省略。
例如：
The manager insists the work should be done by tomorrow. (错）
The manager insists the work be done by tomorrow (对）

 

[poker007]

回复: 帮我改改一段作文吧，求救

你怎么好长时间不出来了，

你这个句子别扭，
it is imperative to have a strong openning,
or, to make a nice thesis, it is imerative,

Well, without a thesis, you will lose one mark from 10 marks essay. That is why I use the word: imperative.

"It is imperative to ...." Better!

明天考English 11 Final. 考完就有空灌水了

 

[排骨饭]

回复: 帮我改改一段作文吧，求救

我的英文考试习惯是:
结构第一,简洁流畅第二,首尾段认真,论点最后.基本上同一个论题来来去去就那么几个观点,对于老师来说没啥特别.

 

[sabre]

回复: 帮我改改一段作文吧，求救

觉得I think比较口语化,我会用 In my opinion. 我觉得personally整个句子有点过长..
如果用了I think之后may是否可以省略? 既然陈述的是总观点就不宜过分不肯定的语气.立场.

其次段末应该稍微收尾而且和下一段有点联系.

句子尽量简洁.应付考试是为高分,不需要搞得好像很多东西要表达,别当还是中文的时候那样洋洋洒洒说出十万个为什么.

如果可以按着写好的英文直接看成中文的,基本西人就是看不明的了.

随便瞎说,别拍

跟我想的一样， 这个不是我党宣传部的文章， 不是人民日报的社论， 当然是i think, 当然是personally,
当然的话， 就没有必要说出来，

 

[sabre]

回复: 帮我改改一段作文吧，求救

Well, without a thesis, you will lose one mark from 10 marks essay. That is why I use the word: imperative.

"It is imperative to ...." Better!

明天考English 11 Final. 考完就有空灌水了

我在风雨之中思念你，

 

[poker007]

回复: 帮我改改一段作文吧，求救

论术文的Formular:

Introduction paragraph: hook+general statement of subject+thesis.

Body paragraphs (three paragraphs): topic sentence + three evidences+ transition or summary statement.

Conclusion paragraph : summary of main points + clincher.

套用这个公式，注意连贯性，分数就有了

 

[poker007]

回复: 帮我改改一段作文吧，求救

我在风雨之中思念你，

I was told that there is no more wind in Montreal. Got a umbrella?

 

[才来温哥华]

回复: 帮我改改一段作文吧，求救

请大家多多提意见，本人在周末再按照大家的教导，再重新改一改。真谢谢免费的、无私的指教。

 

[poker007]

回复: 帮我改改一段作文吧，求救

论术文的Formular:

Introduction paragraph: hook+general statement of subject+thesis (thesis states the subject and lists 3 main points with parallel form).

Body paragraphs (three paragraphs): topic sentence + three evidences+ transition or summary statement.

Conclusion paragraph : summary of main points + clincher.

套用这个公式，注意连贯性，分数就有了

 

[sabre]

回复: 帮我改改一段作文吧，求救

论术文的Formular:

Introduction paragraph: hook+general statement of subject+thesis.

Body paragraphs (three paragraphs): topic sentence + three evidences+ transition or summary statement.

Conclusion paragraph : summary of main points + clincher.

套用这个公式，注意连贯性，分数就有了

是拉la， 不是拉尔lar，
要注意儿化音的使用， 不能过度，

 

[狗狗凡]

回复: 帮我改改一段作文吧，求救

http://forum.iask.ca/showthread.php?t=608576

 

[majorshenzhen]

回复: 帮我改改一段作文吧，求救

看来英文作文的形式高于内容，没有一个care楼主的观点是否正确的，或者说是否论据支持了论点的。都在那里忙着改语法。

 

[Kathleny]

回复: 帮我改改一段作文吧，求救

Whether students opt for the temporary job remains in dispute, people and their opinions are vary. Some regard it as a chance to optimize the marginal profit out of their spare time, whereas others consider the academic achievement as their focus of students. In conclusion, I seriously consider it better off for students to maintain their part-time employment rather than nothing to do at all.

Note:
Skq, I took some minutes before the class to write this paragraph for you. I advise you find a writing tutor or helper to advance your academic writing skills.

 

[crackydoor]

回复: 帮我改改一段作文吧，求救

Whether students opt for the temporary job remains in dispute, people and their opinions are vary. Some regard it as a chance to optimize the marginal profit out of their spare time, whereas others consider the academic achievement as their focus of students. In conclusion, I seriously consider it better off for students to maintain their part-time employment rather than nothing to do at all.

Note:
Skq, I took some minutes before the class to write this paragraph for you. I advise you find a writing tutor or helper to advance your academic writing skills.

定冠词不定冠词用法要注意

 

[Cataleen]

回复: 帮我改改一段作文吧，求救

Hi Kathy, here is my revised version for you.

Whether students opt for the temporary job remains in dispute, people and their opinions are very. Some regard it as a chance to optimize their income out of their spare time, while others consider the academic achievement as their priority to the study. In conclusion, I seriously consider it better off for students to embrace their part-time employment than nothing to do at all.

 

[清风月半馋]

回复: 帮我改改一段作文吧，求救

There are different opinions among people as to whether students should work in their spare time. Some people suggest that students should concentrate on their study even spare time; Others , on the other hand, suggest that students should go to work using their spare part. I firmly hold the position that students can go to work in their spart time.

 

[Elaine2003]

回复: 帮我改改一段作文吧，求救

考成人高中啊，文章题目是随机给的，怎么做事前准备啊。
而且，也考语法填空的。从你的文章结构看，要从五或六级开始读。英文作文讲究八股文结构，先找范文，记住结构吧。

 

[juanajuana]

回复: 帮我改改一段作文吧，求救

这样的家园论坛受益匪浅。