How to Listen to Someone Who’s Angry
“I love angry people,” Brambleby tells me. “They’re much easier to work with. Over the last few years, I’ve realised that people who seem angry and aggressive are probably feeling frightened, frustrated and powerless. I’m only 4ft 9in, and when I’ve got a big shouty man in front of me, I find it hugely helpful to remember that at the root of his behaviour is fear.” Her advice is to let that person be angry. If it’s in the workplace, you may need to move to a private room, but don’t try to restrain them. “Give them time. Eventually – sometimes it’s seconds, sometimes minutes, but rarely longer – they will have said what they need to, to get that raw emotion out. It takes courage to do that, because we are frightened by strong emotions. But in my experience, it is the only effective way to deal with anger.” When the tirade is over, you can ask questions to clarify what it is that has angered them.