“给TA们讲了两个笑话, 一个是二儿他爸钓鱼, 另一个是关手电筒闸门。“
想听听小苏给老外讲的英文版相声
我讲个二儿他爸钓鱼吧。
There is a guy, whose son's name is Er.
Then people all call him Er's dad.
One day, Er's mom talked to her husband:
You see, Er's dad, our neighbors go to fishing. They have fresh fishes to cook.
The fishes 're so delicious only from smelling.
Er's dad realised his wife's admiration obviously. Then he said with very strong confidence: that is very easy. You should have told me this early. I will go to fishing tomorrow. You make a sweet pie for me. I will catch a hundred fishes for you with my eyes closed.
He left in the early morning and came back in the afternoon. Unfortunately, he didn't get any fish at all.
His wife asked him as soon as he opened the door: Er's dad, how's everything going? Got some fishes?
"Got what?! Never mind. I got there too late. When I made everything be ready and had a look, OMG, today's fishes gethering was already gone.
In order to make things right, I got further information There will be another fishes gathering tomorrow. I will catch it for you tomorrow then.
He was heading for bed and leaving everything for next day.
Next early morning, Er's dad asked his wife to make two sweet pies for him. He planned to fish for longer time.
Same time left , same time was back, and nothing in his hands again as same as yesterday.
When his wife asked where was the fishes, he said: never mind. I didn't catch today's fishes gathering again.
When I made everything ready for fishing, some kids jumped into for swimming. OMG, fishes gathering all disappeared. I' m so anxious that I made an inquiry. Wow, there will be other gathering tomorrow. I would kill myself and throw my body in the river if I could get fishes home.
At this moment, an old woman who lives at their next door heard what he said. She tried to consoled him and said: Calm down. Don't be so silly. Fishing needs a lot of patient. You just like talking. It is not easy to do things well.
Er's dad was mad of this old woman.
"What are you talking about? You mean other neighbor can fish well, but I can not. Only concerning your words, I will go again. I will show you how well I will be. I wouldn't live here anymore if I couldn't get fishes home. I will move out if you are right.
All well, anything else, Er's mom, will you make three sweet pies for me?"
His wife thought about when she was cooking, WOW, Er's dad, you are so ridiculous, you are getting to eat more and more without getting any fishes home at all.
Next day, he left . He didn't go for fishing. But he went to fishing market with his fishing pole. People looked at him curiously. After bargaining furiously , he bought 4 pounds fishes and with two ones free.
From far away his door, he started shouting loudly: hahaha.....I managed to catch this fishes gathering.
Lots of neighbors came out to have a look, including the next door old woman.
"Er's mom, take out our biggest basin out quick. OMG, finally I caught this fishes gathering." He ordered.
Put wooden basin in the yard. Pour water inside. Drop the fishes in it.
Adorably, the fishes were all alive in the water.
After having a look, the old woman started to wonder: Er's dad, why are the fishes all same size?
Of course, he answered. The fishes of this gathering are all same size. I am really skillful and especially catch this gathering because of the same size.
Haven't I already told you I could catch a hundred fishes with my eyes closed?!
Old woman didn't believe him and asked "didn't you buy them?"
Hearing this, he was angry immediately and argued : eh, grandma, we are neighbors for many years. Big shame on you when you said this . I am worrying about you would sick and with half body moving improperly.
Er's mom tried to smooth things over
Then she said: Don't listen to her. She should not say that. I trust you to get them for fishing by yourself. I guess you caught more than 2 pounds fishes.
He was not happy with this and spoke loudly, what?! More than two pounds?! They are 4 pounds. You can make sure to ask the fish vender. By the day, I got two extra for free.