上海博物馆,原来文字有一点啰嗦,我们在新的改建过程中,提出的标识文字建议。。。。当然,应该采用public,这样老外更懂。不过我们更多的政治考虑。。。文字中外同理。。这是刚来加拿大,移民中心让写的。。请提意见。
A journey with imagination
If a place makes you to ignore or conceal desires , swallow and suppress ideas, hide beliefs, stand in the shadow of who, if a city reminds you often of paying attention to unfair child education ,worrying about food safety daily and smog fog in the next time, then the desire to leave is constant, but why Canada? Because, on any person who desires this kind of leaving, Canada will bestow the gift of lucky charm with multichoice, my family among the others is only one of winners for this kind of choices in 2014.
And the person like us, with some kind of dusting background first landing the soil of Canada, we always like to say that this is the land of blue sky with fresh air which in some sense could been identified as parades on the earth according to the sayings of MR.DUPLESSIS who claimed Le ciel est bleu; l'enfer est rouge. of which is making me certainly a little bit confused unless I can find further explanation through personal exploration in the field of theology later on.
So this longest journey ,we have made so far, is just beginning, it is not from the physical experience of having made it that we know how very great the distance is, but social and cultural from very beginning, after our landing in 2014 as new immigrants . Just like the winter is always waiting time in Canada, for the spring flowers blossom, or the girl name of hurricane. We also would wish, not only us ,but to all others, to become a fully acculturate citizens of a country soon or later,not as foreign to my some new friends as China .
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后辈大着胆子找找茬:
Paragraph 1:
1. If a place makes you to ignore doesn’t make sense, the sentence would be better without the to.
2. When talking about the many problems about the home country, the sentence suddenly poses the question “why Canada” which is too abrupt.
3. The lucky charm of multi choice doesn’t make any sense.
4. This kind of choices should be “these kinds of choices”
Paragraph 2:
1. The first sentence starts with “the person like us”; this doesn’t make sense, as person is singular, while us is plural.
2. “Dusting background” is confusing, and it should be “first land ON the soil of Canada”
3. The sentence is run on, without commas in the correct places.
4. The minister’s name is incorrectly written; it should be Mr. Du Plessis.
5. of which should be capitalized, as it marks the start of a new sentence.
6.Personal theology is not really relevant to the topic at hand.
Paragraph 3:
1. First sentence is run on.
2. There should be a “that” before “we have made so far”.
3. It would be best to stop the sentence after ”just beginning “, and start a new sentence after that.
4. Should be “for the spring flowers TO blossom”.
5. What are you trying to say with “ the girl name of hurricane”?
6. Should be “not only FOR us”.
7. Grammar problem with the sentence “ to become a fully acculturate citizens”. It should be “to become fully acculturated citizens”.
8. Last part makes more sense if it was “so as to be less foreign to my some friends as China itself”.
请各位老师指教……谢谢……